Thursday, May 21, 2009

Adam Lambert is a Big Old Drag Queen...


Every news outlet that covered the idol finale, which was most of them, used the term "Dark Horse". Did they use the term in reference to Adam Lambert? Adam Lambert, with his subversive eyeliner wearing and impressive handling of staggering platform boots? With his sometimes androgynously-timbered wailing? With his totally non-Vanilla appeal and strange, dark (for AI, at least) edge?

Mmmmmmnnno. The Dark Horse they were referring to is 23 year old Kris Allen, young, darling, handsome, sweet-smiling songster. The boy play an acoustic guitar and is possibly descended from a bunny or a llama or something really freaking cute. He's like a Disney prince. This is our Dark Horse.

So if the sweet married Southern boy caused an UPSET by winning.... in exactly WHAT WAY has America's crippling homophobia made a travesty of American Idol?

I admit that it would have been more exciting in the long run if Adam had won, but Kris deserved to as much as he did. They're different performers. Hopefully they both have careers as very different artists. And even though I love you all very much, I think getting worked up over this outcome of Idol revealing some deep and important truth about the nature of our country is... total bullshit.

There is no deep and hidden loathing of gays in our country. It is right out in the open.

Almost 100 million people voted last night. Do you think 80 million people voted for Kris? No. First off, 100 million people didn't vote. As few as ten million people could have voted. Remember how many times you called radio hotlines or whatever as a kid? Tweens and teens, especially ones that have their own cell phones, which is all of them, probably voted upwards of ten times. It's not our whole freakin' country decided they wouldn't stand for no queer bein' the next American Idol! It's who's willing to shell out money for a stupid tv show. I'm serious about this, this is ridiculous.

This is better for Adam, as i told Muse. Now he isn't an AI puppet and he can go sell out stadiums and be the Broadway star he wants to be. Kris will probably do nothing until he can get away from the Ford Motor Company and then have a solid career as a singer songwriter? Maybe? Whatever.

It's American Idol. It happens EVERY. YEAR. And it has NEVER. EVER. Not ONCE. Changed the landscape of American music. Ever. Not eve Clarkson. She's just another pop star.

I see what friend Dan was saying, but this was not some pop culture distillation of the raging battle between middle America and gay culture in the U.S. It simply was not. It's not important enough to be that.

You want to talk about wacky gayness in highly marketable properties, talk about Wolverine, since apparently Wolvie's 70s lumberjack duds set off everyone's gaydar. But for now, just prep yourself for SYTYCD, calm down, and try to fathom how next season of Idol is going to scrounge up anyone to rival the awesome of Adam.

P.S. I LIKE ADAM LAMBERT. This is just such a huge THING and it's driving me nuts and I had to get this off my chest.


Unknown said...

i don't watch idol, but i totally agree with everything you've said. votes like this are so not representative of everyone in the country. AND it is way better for a really deserving and unique talent not to win, imo, because then they are freer to do their own thing. so, thumbs up. :D