Inglourious Dior

I'm not exactly a fashionista. The world of haute couture is generally offensive to me, since it's largely comprised of ugly threads on painfully unattractive people, but every few years designers seem to unanimously decide it's time for them to appease me, and the industry turns universally toward fashion inspired by the military uniforms of World War II. Recently on the Parisian runway, class-act Christian Dior revealed their Fall ready-to-wear line, and my heart exploded in my chest.

The 1940s comprise one of my favorite periods of history, particularly from a sartorial slant.  While the gowns in this collection are plainly influenced by the '30s and have basically nothing to do with the fashion of WWII, they're still stunning.

 Slouchy, tomboyish, hot as hell. This jacket. THIS JACKET. And the bag.

Drapey harem-flood-pants are strange, but strangely appealing.

The dress I could give a damn about. I see what they're getting at, but ruffled tiers are not my schtick. Again, though, I say- THIS JACKET.  Doubtless not vegan. Doubtless, the direct result of the cold blooded murder of a cow or a sheep or something, but goddamn that shit is for the greater good. The shearling cuff under the additional leather ring cuff is a beautiful detail. I'm also digging the thigh-high stockings that are used in pretty much every ensemble of the collection. Jewelery not so much, dog tags would fit better.

Battlestar Galactica dog tags.

I would wear this outfit in its entirety. The Lieutenant jacket, the beautifully pocketed, military green pencil skirt. I yearn for a kick-pleat in the back, but there are not posterior views, alas. Again, the thigh high stockings. Working. Yeah, EVERYTHING here, I would do very naughty, probably illegal things to own.

So you see what I was saying about the 30s here. By the 1940s, dresses like this had been foregone entirely for things that were much more structured and frequently had sleeves. That rounded empire waistline, the fishtail draping, that's all 30s, and I am totally okay with that. I think this dress would actually benefit from being worn by someone who actually had breasts, an ass and a waist, seeing as without these things, it just makes her midsection through her thighs look boxy and bloated. So sign me the hell up, because I have more than enough T&A&corsetry to make this work.











The only thing missing from this collection, which you can view in its entirety here, would be well tailored men's style trousers. Those weird drapey harem-flood-pants are fine, and in theory should be the curvy girl's answer to skinny jeans, but I'm looking for something like this:

Maybe not so short, but one gets the idea. In fact, a denim or heavy-cotton jumper similar to the one pictured would do extremely well, a rolling over of the Summer's obsession with catsuits and rompers in the Fall's brilliant revisitation of military staple gear. The only thing I beg is that they stay away from pleats. Hollywood store Bettie Page has a line of 'Big Daddy Pants' that come so close, but lose it at the pleats. You can see them here.











Hopefully, the trickle-down to other lines sold in places like Nordstrom, Lord&Taylor all the way down to H&M will maintain some of these details and the cleanliness of line, because I am jonesin' for this stuff, real bad. When my closet looks like the wardrobe from Band of Brothers and Inglourious Basterds, I'll be happy.