Thursday, May 20, 2010

90210 Semi Live Blogging - Stupid Finale, The Name Of Which Doesn't Matter

Previously on 90210: A whole lot of suckage and a tiny bit of promising in the form of Annie/Liam.

Side-note: I normally don't include pre-episode predictions like this, but because it was so spot on, I must, in retrospect, slip in how this discussion actually occurred - Someone in the room predicts, based on the "Previously" revisiting Naomi's sexual harassment accusation, that British teacher will actually come on to Naomi in this episode cause she is the "girl who cried wolf." I explain that this makes no sense, as the teacher has had nothing but good intentions and really cares about his students. Back to the live blogging now.

Will motherhood make Jen a better being human being? PREDICTION!: No.

Knowing she is becoming a mother hasn't changed anything, so why would physically being one do the trick? At least Georgina seemed fucked up about it on Gossip Girl.

No nurse would say "Get a job" but okay.

"I'd never see you again. Or you know, anyone from West Bev." Nice one, Liam. Good cover up.

Annie stands funny. Damn, I gotta screen-cap that shit. ----------------------------->

Could Annie be talking about herself?! ?!?!!? ?!?!?!!

Adrianna is becoming a superstar! Will alcohol be offered to her? That was her big concern, right? Will this be addressed ever in actuality?

I totally just thought he was gonna open a box and coke was gonna be inside. I forgot that box was Navid's.

EueyeEEYUUUU Ivy & Dixon again. Plleaaseee stoopp torturinggg meeee.

Doesn't everyone know the toilet thing about Australia? Or not idiots? Oh, ok.

Gross Dixon likes Silver again cause he is a boy and they kissed so now of course he likes her again and this is so stupid

Poor Ryan. I would NOT want to be that woman's babby-daddy.

RYAN had unprotected sex of all people?! Really?! He's actually that stupid? Nothing makes sense on this show. Nothing the characters do is in line with anything else they've ever done or been presented as.

"Remember that day when we broke up?" Funny, I don't remember you guys actually ever becoming a couple. And remember how you have no chemistry? This is so dumb.

"You know I can't keep a secret from you." ... Since when?! Since when can Dixon not keep a secret from Ivy?!

Ivy freaks out for no reason, also totally not in line with her character. Awesome.

Oh god, this kid isn't gonna graduate?! They are gonna keep him around another season?! I hope not. I also don't want him blackmailing anyone and getting away with it. Because, again, I hate him. He is smarmy.

Naomi can run for a boy.

Naomi doesn't know what Guantanmo Bay is, you can't fool me, show

Liam tells it like it is! Nice! Take it, Naomi.

Is anyone gonna bother to turn the live feed off? Nope! Of course not.

This is kind of amusing. I enjoyed that.

Jen says something stupid and offensive about women like she knows anything.

Why does Hot Sleepy Teacher have a beard right now? When did he grow that?

 Hot Sleepy BEARDED Teacher

Wait, Hot Sleepy Teacher's life was off track?? Oh, is that what his beard means? He seemed just fine to me. I'm confused. Just cause he got high once and then Jen came back?

Jen is too bitchy to be a mom, I don't buy it. And didn't she supposedly really like Ryan? Auuughh. I don't get ittt.

Teddy growls. Literally. He just growled. Like three times.

If a boy says "I need you in my life" and you aren't overwhelmed with joy, walk away. Good job, Silver.

Since when is tennis a celebate sport?, the room asks. Tennis players are horndogs. Notoriously. Dumb.

Yeah. Those girls are juniors. In high school. Bwhahaha.

I wonder if Annalynne McCord felt as awkward singing Single Ladies as she looked & sounded.

What is JavierJavierJavier doing there? He doesn't go to their school, does he?

Ohhh, he's singing for them. Got it.

Adrianna does a terrible job of breaking up with javierjavierjavier and is randomly insensitive and short. Surprise! Betraying character traits again! Woot!

Javierjavierjavier is suddenly creepily invested in Adrianna.

Stand up straight, Annie, come on.

The rest after the jump

Liam shows Annie his boat. I actually think these two have nice chemistry and at least SOME semblance of a backstory. We at least *get* why they would like each other. Which we never got with Naomi & Liam.

There is no way he built that boat. No way. None.

Oh no, is Dixon gonna do some weird creepy I love you thing at the museum?


THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN. Oh, I'll just take control of the observatory. Sure. That's a thing that happens.

"You're it, Ivy. You're the only girl in this world for me." WHAT?! What is HAPPENING? Yes. he is crazy, Ivy, he is very crazy, please, don't take him back. This is so creepy and weird.

Oh Dixon has "connections", right.

"I'd really like to be back with you." WHY?! WHY WOULD IT BE THAT, IVY?

Javierjavierjavier MUST be an actual artist, right? That they are trying to sell?

"Have fun" is what Naomi just said to Silver. I'd like to think this show is on the joke. But I just don't think it is.

They toss around the word "love" a lot. These high schoolers. On Gossip Girl it took 3 seasons for Blair and Chuck to be able to say that to each other. Makes me so angry.

Ryan won't shave and apparently keeps getting drunk? Is he suddenly an alcoholic?

It's about time someone told Hot Sleepy Teacher to get some sleep!

I was c/o 2003 in high school and these guys are c/o 2011. Ooookay.

Naomi doesn't have a boyfriend so she hates herself. Natch.

He is gonna drive a school bus? Is this a joke? Isn't he smart?! What is HAPPENING? You don't get this stupid just cause you're upset, when you've been established as the smartest person on the show time and time again.

If Liam doesn't understand, this show has way too many character strikes for me to handle much longer

Shenae Grimes going for her Emmy, ladies and gentlemen...

Liam understands! Yay! +3!

Jasper's not gonna be happy about her confiding in Liam.

Is Ryan gonna hit Naomi?


Dixon has been planning his trip to Australia "For ages" aka for a week

Why did they just play creepy music when Harry walked in?

"We don't love each other anymore." Are you KIDDING ME?! It's just to get rid of them. This is so dumb. Lori Laughlin committed to it at least. Despite it making no sense.

If British teacher actually hits on her now, this will make no sense. He's always been an upstanding, good teacher. I hate this show.

His shirt is unbuttoned.

I'm creeped out.

Ryan is gonna kill someone with his car. Like Annie did in the last season finale? Really?

Oh Ryan is gonna think something is happening between Naomi and the British teacher?

Oh, okay, he just sort of burns down the high school...

I like this song, whatever it is

No Annie/Liam loving? Awe.

Jasper set Liam's boat on fire! Somehow! Even though he on crutches! Funny, I couldn't MOVE, let alone SWIM when I was on crutches.

That's fucked! Uh oh. Someone's about to get beat senseless. Even after he hears the cops coming.

Don't do it, British teacher. Really, what I mean is, don't do it, SHOW. It will make no sense, you see? No nono nonono, you can't ACTUALLY DO THE NONSENSICAL THING WE PREDICTED BEFORE THE EPISODE BEGAN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

Suddenly teacher is a creepster and is gonna rape Naomi. Okay. Sure. Whatever. HE ACTUALLY USES THE PHRASE "GIRL WHO CRIED WOLF." HOW IS THIS SO HORRIBLY PREDICTABLE?

Pretend that instead of an attractive guy & girl in their 20s & 30s playing that scene, that it's a middle aged, slightly overweight not at all hot man and an ACTUAL 16 year old girl. Suddenly just got really disturbing, didn't it? Stupid 90210.

If it weren't for the fact that I kind of like Liam/Annie, I would give up on this godforsaken show. WOW is it poorly written. Christ.

Ah hah! Javierjavierjavier is played by "up and coming star" Diego Boneta. Knew it.