90210 Semi-Live Blogging "A Trip To The Moon" [Loss of 12 Fangirl Points]

Previously on 90210

Jasper is dealing drugs to Adrianna! Who saw that coming? Oh, everyone? Cool.

Jen tells Hot Sleepy Teacher that Liam hit on her cause she's a stupid whore. Hey. Call em like I see em.

Dixon's fake-baby momma, (who we refer to as Pretty Statutory Rape Girl over here at All Things Fangirl) told him she had a miscarriage so he wouldn't know she was crazy. Debbie decided to let him keep believing this cause she's a bad mom.

Liam & Ivy totally make out. Finally after a whole one episode of sexual tension, I couldn't take it anymore! /sarcasm

Onto this week's episode!


Season 2, Episode 9, A Trip To The Moon

Dixon is playing a video game with headphones on. We get to hear what he is hearing, including his dad attempting to talk to him. I approve of this sound effect & want to go to there.

Harry tells Dixon that because he is the principal, he got Dixon back on the surfing team! Oh yeah, Dixon got kicked off the surfing team. I forgot because I care so much.

Harry claims these special privileges are okay because there were special circumstances....you mean the special circumstances of Dixon being a lying idiot who didn't use protection?

DEBBIE, TELL DIXON THAT PSRG LIED. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU.

Debbie insists again that we need to "trust" her. This can only mean one thing. This episode will deal with how Debbie cannot be trusted. Thanks for hitting me over the head with that, 90210, otherwise I wouldn't understand what's going on!

Oh great, Silver's boring storyline is back.

Silver tells her mom what her cancer schedule is for like, a full three minutes. We contemplate fast forwarding through it after about 30 seconds.

Did Silvers mom just become a robot? Or am I really that stoned & bored that I just projected my feelings onto her. Anyone else just notice how creepy that was?

Robot.

Naomi wants to throw Silver a party but Silver says she has too much to worry about with her mom. Silver is getting on my nerves in a very intense way.

Adrianna's hair isn't done! CLUE. Totally on drugs. Again. Thanks 90210 for that tip. You're so deep.

No side bangs = Totally on drugs. Rule #1.

Wait. Did Naomi just say "half-birthday?" This is over Silver's half birthday?

Are Ivy & Liam at the"I'm acting like your girlfriend" stage already?! We met her TWO EPISODES AGO. This show flys through relationships WAY too quickly. Ruins the fun.

TEDDY IS WEARING A SWEATER OVER HIS SHOULDERS

Offensive

Ohhh, half-birthday means something important to Silver. Got it. Ah! It's related to her mom being a drunk! It all comes full boring circle.

Yeah, Silver flirting with Teddy? BAD idea.

Jasper confronts Navid for telling Annie he's a drug dealer. Jasper insists that he isn't a drug dealer & tells Navid to check his sources if he's such a good reporter. Uhhhhh. Jasper's really going out of his way to caught in a huge lie. I mean. Dude. You're GONNA get caught. You're selling to his ex-girlfriend and challenged him to check his sources. Are you a complete idiot?!!?

Opening Credits

The rest after the jump!


Incomprehensible Los Angeles traffic speak from Annie & Jasper. I tune out.

Jasper's dad is famous? Did I miss that? Then everyone would all over him. He wouldn't be an outcast. What's happening in this scene?

Ivy, Teddy, Dixon and Liam wait in the longest lunch line ever while they wonder why Liam is being such a dick. Why is this line not moving? Ivy cuts it cause she waits for NO ONE.

Aaaand Teddy is STILL wearing that god damn sweater. Dude. Cease & desist.

Who DOES that?!

Eyu does Teddy think he & Silver are flirting and then he is gonna try something and she is gonna be like, "what's wrong with you, we're just friends" and he's gonna be like "But I did all that for you and your mom!" and she's gonna say "yeah cause you're my friend" and he's like "no, cause I wanna sleep with you." and then I'll laugh and laugh?

Jasper sells Adrianna drugs. Navid SEES IT. Caught. That didn't take very long.

We pause 90210 to talk about how great Gossip Girl is. Literally. And now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Teddy treats Silver's mom like I treat the 9 year olds I nanny for. She has cancer, she's not 4.

Adrianna has druggie face eyes!

Aw druggie face eyes, how I've missed you.

Rick Rosenthal (director of Halloween II and tonight's episode of 90210) is a big fan of constantly moving shots. None of the frames are still. Haha it's making me giggle. This entire scene is nothing but the camera zooming in closer & closer on Adrianna & Navid. I don't even know what's happening cause I can't stop laughing.

DIXON, stop wearing those silly hats.

I thought we were past this

Dixon needs to go check on PSRG. Debbie realizes she has to tell him the truth. Finally, jebus, took you long enough

...
Debbie says she didn't want him to know cause she didn't want Dixon to feel like a fool "and not trust women."
...
Except, he SHOULDN'T trust women who aren't trustworthy. Like Crazy PSRG. Now, maybe, he'll know the signs for next time. Even though there were no signs cause the show didn't decide she was crazy until one episode ago.

Jasper & Annie read through a scene. I can't tell when they stop reading it & start acting for real. It creeps me out.

Does Jasper ACTUALLY like Annie or not? I'm so confuuuused.

ANNIE DROPS THE L BOMB. TOO SOON, ANNIE. TOO SOON.

Jasper replies "I wanted to be the one who said it first" , but looks like he's gonna slap her afterwards. Creepy fuck.

If that's what your boyfriend's face is like when he's confessing his love - time to walk away

He's still manipulating her, right?

Navid confronts Jasper about selling to Adrianna. Jasper lies his way out of it. Damn. Jasper's a good liar. Annie is so fucked.

Teddy is such a galumph. That's the only sound I hear when I see him. Galumph galumph.

Liam is such a dick when he is in a bad mood! Unattractive. I'd no longer be attracted to him if I was Ivy.

When the hell did the cancer-ridden mother have time to do all this? Oh...the nurses helped? Yeah, sure, not like they have anything better to do...

Not to mention, that would have cost a fortune! Oh, Teddy paid for it. Uh oh. No such thing as a free lunch, Silver.

Double the old school arcade machines = double the sexytimes

Dixon says he can't trust Debbie! Surprise surprise!

"It's not like she's my real mom" Oh shit just got REAL

Why is everyone on this show such an asshole?

Sillverr borrinnggg

Jessica Stroup cries on cue. I dont know why cause I'm only half paying attention to this storyline.

Silver's mom is totally gonna die on her half birthday. I don't think you NEED to be this predictable, 90210.

I like that Teddy is only kind of an asshole. He's never been like, a DICK, has he? Brushing Adrianna off was more just...an oversight/misunderstanding, he wasn't trying to hurt her. Cause Galumph's aren't mean guys, just kind of stupid & inconsiderate.

I thought Ivy was kneeling down to pounce on Liam, superhero style. That was cool.

See her kneeling down? Yeah, this would be less lame if I knew how to make gifs. Agreed.

Liam finally tells someone about lying evil Jen! Jesus! It's about time! Are they gonna get revenge on Jen, Gossip Girl style? Ah hah! Yes they are. Cause that's what underdeveloped best friends are for.

Liam says he slept with Jen. Dixon feels bad. Yeah, asshole Dixon, your sister wasn't lying, Loser.

They are. High fiving. Over their revenge plot. Take a cue from Blair Waldorf. Has she EVER high fived anyone? No. Because PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT.

Liam doesn't understand what's going on

Jasper is sketching pictures of Annie under water? Is he planning on drowning her?

Dealbreaker

We start worrying that Sasha actually is pregnant and we're gonna have to endure more of this storyline...oh god no, please don't do that. I can see the scene now. 90210 Writer #1: "What if she actually IS pregnant?!" 90210 Writer #2: "Genius! No one will see it coming! We are so clever."

Jasper is so CREEPY. Is he trying to take Annie's virginity so then he can crush her even more? Is this a really elaborate, really long con?

Annie's wearing a little kids bra. Although it's true most girls aren't wearing sexy lingerie all of the time. So I appreciate this.

Regular Day Bra. Accurate.

So Ivy & Liam have continued "having fun" and we haven't seen it? That sucks. I like it when we see every important moment, every bit of development in a relationship. Like Buffy did. Siiiigh. 90210 WHY DO YOU DEVELOP NO RELATIONSHIPS?!?!

Continuing to not hate Rumer Willis. Will let you know if/when this changes.

Annie copies the phrase "Me too, I love you" from her phone's stored phrases and sends it to Jasper. Um.

How often does she say this to people?!

Dixon apologizes to Annie, but Annie is a bitch to him. Well, can't say she hasn't been provoked. Dixon should be on his knees groveling for putting Annie threw that shit.

Adrianna turns on the waterworks & makes up a story to Naomi about how she was robbed when really, she used the money for drugs. Oh Adrianna, you're a good liar too. It makes me sad.

Guilt is a bitch, Adrianna. Have fun with that.

Teddy calls Silver at midnight so he can be the "First person to wish you a happy half birthday" - Yeah. He's hooked.

At least he's no longer wearing that god damn sweater

Silver's mom. Dead. Called it.

Aaaand scene. Til next week!
See full post

90210 Semi-Live Blogging "Women's Intuition" [Loss of 12 Fangirl Points]

Previously on 90210:

Hot Surfer Chick comes to town. Her name is Ivy and I don't hate her! She & Liam have chemistry.

Adrianna broke up with Navid for Teddy. Teddy the Cartoon Caveman no want relationship. Adrianna sad.

Evil Jen tells Liam that Naomi will never find out they slept together for the 37th time. Liam tries to tell Naomi, she walks away. Epic Fail.

Pretty Statutory Rape Girl tells Boy Face Dixon that she is pregnant with his baby.

Now on to this week!



Season 2, Episode 8, Women's Intuition

We open with an awkward black & white movie of Annie crying near the Hollywood sign, courtesy of the now officially creepy Jasper.

Awkward

Ugh, I'm sad Jasper is creepy. I wish that he was normal. I like Annie when she doesn't fit in, but if the offbeat guy is creepy, then it ruins the whole "outcasts can be cool" thing.

Gia & Navid walk in on Jasper & Annie kissing and suddenly there are 18 people in the room. How did that happen?! What?! Where did they all come from?!

Rumer Willis could be a good actress some day!

Gia refers to someone as her "ex-friend." Eh, I've used that term before. I'll take it.

Jasper is a drug dealer, surprise surprise. Ugh.

Surfer Chick and Liam are such good friends now that they eat lunch together! They are playing jokes on Teddy. Teehee. Pranks! This show is going out of its way to demonstrate what good friends these three are now. It's kind of really awkward.

Liam says "I love this girl" to Surfer Chick Ivy. She is giddy. I smell a crush?

And she already knows everything about Navid/Teddy/Adrianna? That was fast...

Ivy just said "Dude, breakups are the worst, man." ... That is all.

Liam tells Surfer Chick, "You're not really a girl." Uhhh. Looks like a girl to me. Who you flirt with. Regularly.

Pretty Statutory Rape Girl boasts about how domestic and cute she is. Dixon is rightfully disturbed.

PSRG is actually going through with having this baby? Why will no one on this show have a damn abortion.

He's still a kid and you're still an adult. This is STILL AWKWARD.

The rest after the jump!


YES he's saying you should get an abortion, HELLO

Finally, Dixon speaks some sense. Aaaand PSRG is officially nuts. She's totally faking this pregnancy, isn't she? Doesn't she watch Glee? That shit's difficult to pull off.

Is that Rumer Willis playing guitar?

It's Adrianna! She wrote an "I'm sorry" song for Navid! Aww she's pretty. Though this is still very awkward. Show, stop being so awkward!

So much awkward this week

She can do much better that Navid, the most controlling boyfriend since Edward Cullen at the beginning of Eclipse. ... I just made a Twlight reference in a 90210 post. You have permission to punch me in the face.

Navid rejects Adrianna. She'll be back on drugs in t minus one episode.

Oh gross, Hot Sleepy Teacher is still dating Naomi's Evil Sister? Oh! He's dating another woman! Sweeeet.

Hot & Sleepy, just like I like em

Jen says a bunch of mean & petty things in regards to Hot Sleepy Teacher being on a date with Ramona, the pretty bartender. Jen is such a bitch.

Is there really such a thing as Silverlake snobbery?! Really?! I somehow doubt that. Even the rich kids drink in hipster Silverlake bars.

Dixon's parents ask him why he's been missing practice. "Cause I got a girl pregnant"

Hey! He said what I just wrote! I know how teenage boys talk, apparently.

And that was all before the opening credits

Did Dixon not use a condom?! Really?? Dumb ass. Unless the girl's on birth control, you use protection every time. Come on.

Correct expression in response to "We used protection ALMOST every time"

Debbie insists on going to meet PSRG.

She is sooo not pregnant. Parents just entered the picture, so you best not be fucking around, woman.

Okay, yeah, she probably is pregnant. Or is she? Suddenly I can't tell. Crazy bitch anyway. PSRG tells Debbie to butt out, that the decisions about the baby are between her & Dixon. Aaaactually, Dixon is a minor, soooo his decisions are technically his parent's decisions.

Liam is published in something or something! Yay smart Liam!

Who is THIS guy?!?!?! With Teddy, Ivy & Liam and no lines. Who is this random guy walking with them?! What?!?! Well, in any event, Ivy got them all into the N.E.R.D. party. Haha. Nerd Party.

Who IS this guy on the right?!?!!

Navid tells Annie that Jasper is a drug dealer cause they "used to be friends" and he is worried about her. Were Navid and Annie ever actually friends? I don't recall. This show often just decides people are friends without actually showing any sort of friendship develop at any point.

Jen continues to be a giant bitch as she stalks Ryan's date at the Silverlake Lounge.

Bitch is blurred in the back ground

"You're much older looking close up" Jen! Bitch!

Isn't Jen just using Ryan anyway? What's her DEAL? Why does Ryan LIKE her?!

Glad they toned down Silver's lame storyline this week

Or will Adrianna start taking drugs again in this episode?

Yeah, PSRG IS crazy! Debbie's right. Not pregnant! Crazy! I feel like this show just turns people crazy when they don't know what else to do cause there was zero indication of something being wrong with PSRG until the last episode.

Silver & Naomi tell Navid to tell Adrianna not to use drugs. Slightly snoozefesty.

Ryan confronts Jen at the country club about how she stalked Ramona. Is Ryan finally seeing what a bitch Jen is?!

Wait, Ryan thinks this is SEXY?! That Jen stalks these women? Why is he REMOTELY interested in her?! Can't he see how evil she is?? I'm so bothered by all these supposedly intellectual guys like Liam & Hot Sleepy Teacher liking vapid barbies like Naomi & Jen. UGH.

They make out. Of course.

Jasper & Annie are at Pink's. Their food comes right away. When you order at Pink's, it still takes a half hour after you order. So, wrong.

Jasper has a giant wad of cash cause he's a drug dealer. Annie asks about this. Jasper FLIPS OUT LIKE A CRAZY PERSON.

Jasper, if you aren't a drug dealer, why don't you clear it up instead of being crazy?! Psyyyycho. Leaves Annie alone, without a car, at Melrose & La Brea. Have fun figuring out how to get back home. Here's hoping there's an app for that.

Aw and Annie looks so cute in that dress! Too bad.

Ivy suddenly in one episode became such a tomboy that Liam couldn't see past it, until omg she puts on a dress! Will he see her as a girl now?!?!!? Would have liked that relationship to have been established just a tad more. Sigh.

I have no idea who this band is. I've heard the name Pharrell before. But. No clue who he is or what's going on. Is he part of N.E.R.D.? Am I 87 years old?

Liam should tell Ryan that Jen is evil! Ryan would believe youuuuuuu, Liaammm.

Ryan introduces his girlfriend to his student...at a bar...cause that's totally normal...

Liam runs off upon "meeting" Jen. Cause Jen is a crazy ho.

I just don't get Ryan and Jen. He should like smart girls and doesn't she only like rich guys? Buh. It continues to upset me.

Navid goes to see Adrianna and tell her to not do drugs. Snooze. Except now I kinda feel bad for Adrianna and Navid. They were pretty happy together. And I guess he cares about her. I think it's just that they are the best actors on the show, thus they affect me, thus I'm confused and think their storyline makes sense.

Her face makes me sad!

Why is Liam distracted by Naomi talking to Hot College Guy?! Liam & Naomi never had chemistry! Stop it!

Random best friends Ivy & Teddy have a heart to heart about Ivy liking Liam.Why do the girls always have to like Liam, why can't Liam have a crush on the girls?

Jen wants to call a truce. Liam says it's cause she's afraid he'll tell Ryan what a super villain she is. Yeah, Liam's got your number, bitch!

Debbie finds Sasha and in a one-two punch, corners PSRG into revealing the baby doesn't actually exist. Nice one, Debbie! That's what moms are for.

Annie apologizes profusely to Jasper. Ugh. Even if he isn't a drug dealer, the way he treated you for asking wasn't exactly cool. Creep alert! Drop that shit.

P.S. They are AT the Hollywood sign. That's not possible. Pshhh.

Not possible

So is Naomi officially dating Hot College Guy now?

How did all these high school kids get in here again? And how are they drinking? And how is it okay for their teacher to be at the same club and not interfere? Confused.

Samantha Ronson's two lines! She tells Navid some girls are cute and he should hit on them! Her two lines were about being a lesbian! Cause she's a famous lesbian! Get it?

But if Navid starts hitting on girls at bars, we're gonna get into another Sasha/Dixon storyline

Adrianna's worst nightmare come to life. All the boys she could ever love are flirting with other people. The end. Guess the only option left would be the ladies. And what do you know, it will be, in the coming weeks!

How did all of these people get into this party?!? Seriously!

High schoolers, college students, teachers and socialites all at one party. With drinks. Sure, that makes sense.

Jen tells Ryan that Liam tried to hit on her. Why is Jen being such a bitch?!?!?!?! Stop it!!!!

So now Jen is trying to ruin Liam's ENTIRE life? Jesus.

PSRG tells Dixon she had a miscarriage. Debbie comforts Dixon & doesn't tell him Sasha was actually a lying crazy bitch. Tell Dixon the truth!! Tell him she's crazy! Why aren't they telling him?

Ehhh, I don't trust you here, Debbie. You should tell him the truth. Boy should know how to avoid attracting the crazies. Even though she totally wasn't crazy at the beginning of her storyline and the writers just randomly made it up last week, so how would he have known anyway.

Ivy goes to see Liam in the shop where he is making something secret hidden under a tarp! He won't show her what it is. Whatever. Just make out! Make out! Ivy & Liam! Make out!

Yay! They make out! They actually have chemistry!!

Jasper is such a drug dealer and she's about to find out. Or we are. Oh NO! He gets a phone call and it's Adrianna! Don't deal to her, you bastard!!

Next week on 90210:

Annie's still a virgin??? I missed that.
See full post

For david [Silly Fun or EPIC AWESOMENESS]

Just for you, david! And maybe me a little bit. But only maybe. Cause Craig's back! Oh crap, I've revealed my love for Degrassi. Oh god, I just reaffirmed it! Okay, but you know what, I stopped watching two seasons ago cause they got rid of the old people and now only feature n00bs. Spelled exactly like that.

No hating on Canadian soap operas wise coming of age stories allowed in this forum.



Doesn't Kevin Smith loving Degrassi get me a pass? No? Damnit. See full post

90210 Episode 14 Semi-Live Blogging [Loss of 12 Fangirl Points]

Facey McFacerson

In an attempt to distract myself waiting for david to come home so we can watch Lost, I'm gonna watch 90210 and Top Chef. My options are limited when I'm sick and refuse to leave my bed to put in a dvd, okay? But also, Top Chef is awesome. Don't hate.

________

Damn, this school takes their plays oddly seriously. Egyptian decorations everywhere? Really?

Token gay extra! Is that the same one from 3 episodes ago?

Hot teacher is so cute! Aw lookit how he references Dead Poets Society even though he's 23 and that's so a movie of the generation before his. Before mine. OH GOD IM TURNING 23 NEXT WEEK. Okay, personal moment over.

Awkward encounter between Kelly & Hot Teacher. Okay.

Apparently Dixon is still being passive aggressive. Sigh.

Eyu, and Shenae Grimes still does nothing but make faces

Always thought she would play Cleopatra eventually? Is anyone buying that?

New drama teacher...a little weird...we'll see...ehhh she clicked when she winked. Over it.

Don't ask the bad actor to audition for Shakespeare, please. I don't even wanna THINK about Dustin Mulligan attempting Shakespeare. It makes my chest hurt.

Yes, Adrianna is correct for Cleopatra. Annie is not.

"No, because you're pregnant, remember?"

Naomi, while generally less stupid looking, is still pretty stupid looking

Sucks for Silver! Damn, Mr Matthews is hot. You tell her! You tell her good. NO LEARNING FOR YOU, SILVER.

Why is Naomi wearing that? What IS that? I know it's white and I know it's long and I know it's squiggly. Oh and ugly. Very very ugly. Please stop wearing that. Then again, where would I be without Naomi's horrible outfits. (see below)



"You called in the Guidance Counselor? The frickin' Guidance Counselor?" Slash, does Kelly like, interact with any other students? Cause it seems to me she spends A LOT of time leaving school to talk to Adrianna about her problems. Don't schools have rules against these kinds of things? My guidance counselor told me how to get into NYU. Thaaaat's about it.

This all feels a little after school special to me

Naomi is SO offended by Kelly suggesting that Adrianna has the baby that she gets really really pouty!!!

Could Dixon secretly be talking about something else when he says he's talking about Mr. Matthews? Could it be?

Silver doesn't get it. Haven't we established that she's smarter than this? Oh well.

Oh hai, I'm a lady! I'm on your table! Oh hai, I'm Naomi, I have big hair! I restyled it between school and home!

Adrianna doesn't care what anyone says! Know how I know? She is still drinking coffee and eating candy omg!!!

She almost kills herself driving all night somewhere random and that's scary, so she turns around. Yawn.

Do you know ANY other teen who wears something like that to bed? The answer is no. Naomi, get some real pajamas.

Is Jessica Stroup especially pretty in this episode? (see right)

Haha what's funny is that that's probably how Dustin Mulligan would read Shakespeare in real life too!

Thaaaat's sleazy, Ty. Her boyfriend is right there. Gross.

Also, only lame theater kids rehearse in the hallway. Again - gross.

Adrianna GETS OUT OF A CAR. For a walk-in abortion? Erm. I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. But okay.

Do they keep using the same establishing shot of the school?

No callbacks? For a school that can afford the rights to Spring Awakening? Lies.

Omg Shenae Face. Face face face. Here's a face, here's a face, here's a face. FACE FACE.

Ty insults Annie very unprofessionally. But Annie sucks at life, so I don't mind.

I didn't know high schools hired 23 year old teachers. Isn't that, like, asking for trouble? Also, I was pretty sure they hired him to play older...considering his love interests have been Kelly & Brenda, who are well into their 30s. This just got really pathetic for Kelly.

Kelly has a good point. Read Silver's paper, sexy teacher! Gosh, you're sexy.

In New York, you can't be late. Do they also not have callbacks in New York? Is that why you're conveniently skipping that portion of the casting process?

DO IT, ADRIANNA. You rock that shit.

3 lines? Really? Anticlimactic much? But clearly she's better than Annie.

Dixon hates Silver now. Cause he is a passive aggressive idiot who doesn't know how to handle his feelings. I'm over this storyline. Hopefully Mom can make Dixon over it too.

I just tuned out. What's happening? She is saying buy Silver flowers? Oh no, she is saying, talk about your feelings.

She just had to drive. ... Okay.

This chick can access her emotions very easily. I likes her. Adrianna. Not Naomi. Though Naomi looks kinda pretty in the firelight! Good work, cinematographer & gaffers!

Did she get an abortion? Oh god, she's having the baby? Really? OMG, ITS NOT POSSIBLE? ILLEGAL ALREADY? Didn't see that coming. Aw, now I'm sad for her. Wait, is that accurate? How far along is she? She isn't showing at all yet. That can't be right. Can I get a fact check?

You know, Naomi has a point, he is actually a really terrible father

Silver's so pretty! Still too skinny. Better than when the show began though. I like seeing a little bit of arm fat on that one.

Silver and hot teacher should do it. I don't care if it's an overdone storyline. Do it!!

A GAY! YAY!

Okay, if Ethan made it in the show, this school's theater program has zero credibility. No callbacks should have been the first clue.

How does Adrianna make her bangs be side bangs AND not side bangs?! I didn't know people could do that! I'm having a girlie hair moment.

Kelly is way too buddy buddy with them. Sitting together? At lunch? Come on.

Adrianna has to drop out of the show now though, right? You can't have a pregnant Cleopatra...

Is the father Ty?! Methinks yes! I find myself enjoying where this storyline may go. Potentially.

Annie is being lame. Ethan does that side smile weird thing. One of two faces he makes. It's okay, Annie makes enough for the two of them.

Is hot teacher gonna date the new teacher? Boring.

I'm pretty hot teacher could have talked to new teacher about curriculum at school...he has no reason to be there. Stop.

Why is Silver there?! Why is Dixon there?! Isn't this a cast and crew party?! Is she stage managing again? Way to not spread the responsibility around, West Beverly. By the way, this place would never host a party for teenagers anyway. Also there is no Egyptian restaurant near Hollywood & Highland. Just so we're all on the same page.

Break up! Ack! Makes no sense, but I like it! Now Silver can have an affair with hot teacher!

"Duck back to my hotel." Yes, beautiful, indeed.

Baby daddy alert! Yeah, you'll prob have to talk to him when you become all noticeably pregnant...which will happen...

EYU REVELATION. Annie is like those girls at my high school who dropped out of the musical when they didn't get the lead. Except WORSE because she STILL got a part.

Oh good, she realizes she is kind of an idiot for being upset

Eth? Eth is not a nickname. Incorrect.

OMG ARE THEY KILLING ETHAN OFF THE SHOW?! PLEASE BE MY GUEST. Slash that crash was really random and not at all intense like I suspect it should have been. Lesson to all - don't answer your cell phone while driving.

Bottom line - this episode was way better than last week's exercise in stupidity. While still nowhere near the land of good, I'm into a couple of the storylines and am looking forward to seeing Jessica Stroup get all cray cray sad next week. Real acting! Huzzah! See full post

90210 Semi-Live Blogging Episode 13 [Loss of 12 Fangirl Points]

Oh hai! I i can has zero body fat?

This week's episode of 90210 continues the show's tradition of trying my patience. Joining me for tonight's semi-live blog are my roommates, Jen and lower case ATF contributor, david. Maybe I should feel guilty for forcing them to watch such drivel but...nah, I don't.

So it begins....

__________________

Eyu eyu eyu they are all eyu

Annie & Blando talk about the weather. Literally. Shenae Grimes and Dustin Mulligan are such bad actors that it makes my soul hurt. Also. Good night? Isn't it daytime? Did I just miss something? They did say good night, right? And it is light outside, yeah? Hrm.

YOU DON'T SAY I LOVE YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME OVER THE PHONE STOP

Oh my god I hate Shenae

david doesn't understand why Lucille Bluth is anywhere near this disaster

Annie hunches when she kisses. Blech.

david is offended that there is a cover of a Robyn song playing and thinks Jessica Stroup is cute

Ethan & Annie. Worst. TV. Couple. Ever. Enter Dixon & Silver. Make that the two worst tv couples ever. Borringggg.

Silver is PISSED at Dixon for ... Annie and Dixon being all lovey dovey? I don't get it.

Naomi needs to shut the hell up

Field Hockey? Really? I went to high school in LA...we didn't play field hockey...just putting that out there

david asks who "that awful awful woman is". He means Naomi. Obviously.

Naomi is gonna think Adrianna is using again and tell everyone and be lame. BAD friend alert.

Everyone's a bitch and david concludes that Naomi is the worst character yet

Naomi is an unprecedented level of awful

Stop kissing!!! It's actually offensive.

Joining the choir isn't a lame thing in affluent los angeles high schools, by the way. Like, not even remotely. Who is writing this show? Where did they go to high school? I demand answers!!!

Also, school has never been canceled for a heat wave in BEVERLY HILLS. The dead of the desert, sure. The valley even! Sure! But BEVERLY HILLS? In winter?! No. 12 years. I went to school in LA for 12 years. It IS often hot out there when freezing on the East Coast. But...they just take everything too far past reality. And not in that fun, smart way Gossip Girl does. Oh, how it all annoys me so.

Grandma gets Annie a car. ... ... Um. Why, exactly? Is it her birthday? Is there a reason? No? Oh okay, great, moving on.

Tranny Train Wreck is an idiot. Oh, p.s. Tranny Train Wreck is david's new nickname for Naomi.

SHENAEJUSTMAKESFACESANDSQUEAKS

I miss Arrested Development

OBVIOUSLY Shenae Grimes has her belly button pierced

If it's that hot in Los Angeles, Palm Springs is a TERRIBLE idea

Oh, and don't forget to drink Dr. Pepper, guys.

Ah - apparently Silver is pissed cause Dixon hasn't said I love you yet. Gag.

"You are my mother, she is my wife." Haha okay, that made me laugh

Wow. On a swing set, yet

david decides Naomi is a furiously demented version of Hermione

And also an idiot

"I think this guy named Hank who I know from rehab." Yup. She said that.

Palm Springs. Where we can be alone and die from heat exhaustion.

"Go to palm springs" = "have a lot of dirty sex." Kthx.

We all hate Naomi more than we can even comprehend

Was this shot in the Frank Lloyd Wright house I frequented as a rebellious teenager?

Please don't be so skinny, Silver.

Silver doesn't listen to me and proceeds to be way too skinny

Silver demonstrates how "hip" she is again (Remember last weeks Grindhouse bit?) by referencing Gaudi

Is that Twilight's Emmett?

"He's a total sponge." Totally. Good one, Naomi.

Isn't it weird that the grown-ups are the only source of humor that is intentional, not inadvertent?

Jessica Stroup just got REALLY lame in that ad for Confessions of a Shopaholic. Wow.

They are putting off the sexy times. This is boring.

"I'm ready." YOU ARE SO BAD, STOP IT. Also, the writing is terrible. So that doesn't help.

I wanna know what that Blended thought!

People don't talk like that before sex. She makes me angry. Lookit how tiny she is! Eyu! It's like he is making out with a little kid!

Don't do it don't do it don't do it

THEY'RE NOT DOING IT. YES! Her stupid talk gave him pause!

"Too late. You just did." BURN. Okay, that fight blew up rather quickly...None of that made any sense. We're all in agreement here, right?

Everyone thinks Adrianna is back on drugs. Hilarious! Navid must defend her honor. Fightfightfightfightfight! omg, FIGHTS IN ARABIAN CABANAS!

Adrianna's confession and Navid's reaction = the only moment of dramatic tension this show has ever had. Ever.

Annie & Ethan sleeping apart. It's not sweet. Cause they hate each other. That's why they are sleeping apart. It's actually kind of sad.

Anyway, way to be REALLY CREEPY, parents.

Pink pillars of light. Nope. Why.

Silver doesn't love Dixon! NICE. They totally faked us out! Okay, but then the fight escalates way too quickly. 90210 is like Revolutionary Road in that way. Also, SHE KNOCKED OVER HIS SAND CASTLE CAUSE SUDDENLY SHE'S FIVE.

They have SCHOOL today?! And they're in PALM SPRINGS? WHY would someone EVER drive to PALM SPRINGS on a SCHOOL NIGHT. I I I I I can't.

Navid's a good actor. Aw I feel bad for everyone now. And by everyone, I mean Navid & Adrianna. I don't actually give a shit about anyone else.

Dixon engages in passive aggression. Always a good relationship move. I'll let them get away with it cause teenagers tend to suck at dating in that way. This brings 90210's total to two points. (As you may remember, they got one last week for that "Ms Taylor" business.)

Lucille gets the part! Huzzah!

Naomi's hair is always stupid. Even when it's normal. Still stupid.

Shenae Grimes & Dustin Mulligan make me see the worst in people

I just don't think Dustin Mulligan has it in him, I'm gonna say it. I just don't think he has it.

They look like kissing hunchbacks

That episode was stupid. Bedtime!
See full post

90210 Semi-Live Blogging [Loss of 12 Fangirl Points]

One of the many stupid faces made by Shenae Grimes

One of my favorite pastimes has become getting somewhat intoxicated and watching 90210. It's so epically bad that I'm always inspired to live blog it as I watch - even if that live blog happens hours after show has already aired. The strange thing about this show is that it isn't even entertainingly bad, it's just...bad. Things make no sense, the characters are wholly uninteresting and it's an exercise in the worst acting and writing possible. Yet I can't stop watching. Like a train wreck where you just can't look away? Absolutely. In fact, this show is SO awful, none of my friends watch it. Not even the friends who watch trashy reality shows or good CW fare like Gossip Girl. No one. So why do I write this live blog? I have no idea. I suppose it's an outlet to express my frustration over just how offensively bad this program is? Yes, that's it. Got it. One week I'll aim to do an ACTUAL live blog. For the none of you who watch the show, let alone watch it in real time. Gonna go shoot myself now.

Live Blog after the jump



Previously on 90210...oh god, already everything's stupid.

Exposittiiiooonnnn Allleeerrttttt. Omg remember how we went skiing? Omg remember how I hung out with our half brother? Omg.

Are they even trying to act well? Any of them? At all? TRY.

Annie is a huge bitch too. Ick. Shenae Grimes is gross.

MAD TV, what up!

The thoughts in Shenae Grimes' head during this classroom scene - "Look pretty look pretty look pretty, look interested but pretty, interested but pretty"

Black people only go to Beverly if their fathers are in the music business. WOW, 90210.

Everyone's crazy. Everyone is insane.

Fake half brother is a HOTTIE, woah. He says arithmetic funny.

Eyu, he may be hot, but he is your BROTHER (so you think) so STOP fighting over him! Grossssss!

Jessica Lowndes = the best actress on the show

I like that she said Ms Walsh and Ms Taylor instead of Brenda and Kelly. Good work, writers. You get a point!

No family does this. No family plays Pictionary like that. Other games, sure. But no one has an easel and giant pad of paper and giant marker just lying around.

Shenae Grimes needs to stop making so many faces

It's all so predictable

Opening Credits - finally

Fake half brother is clever

Fake half brother is gonna kill Annie

She is suspicious. I can tell because her acting style is from the Captain Obvious school of acting.

Do NOT give him the money, come ON, I call laaaaame

Annie is gonna tell Dixon she has suspicions! Do it! I know you are gonna!

"What do you think about Shawn?" BAM, she did it.

Hasn't Shawn aka fake half brother been here for like a month now? Wouldn't he have made ONE friend? Like, oh, say, Naomi? Getting a call from a local number is not that weird.

Brothers don't kiss sisters on the head. Stop it.

"Probably should have thought of that before you slept with him." Really? REALLY? You went on like ONE date with hot teacher, get over it, kelly!!

I don't know if i buy it, Brenda.

Return of the peach pit!

That giant Dr. Pepper sign on the counter just literally frightened me. Why is it so large?? What's happening??

DIXON DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO BE BLACK. THAT IS THE STORY LINE. WHY.

Come on lady, his wife is right there...

Grown ups on the cw are boring except for lily & rufus

90210 thinks it's being hip by saying "Death Proof."

Adrianna is so pretty!

The director made her gesture towards Kelly & Brenda with her head during the rehab reunion scene. Poor form. Milk was a bad choice.

Stop looking at Kelly while you speak, Brenda. Everyone on this show is OBVIOUSville

Dustin Mulligan sucks. Maybe that's why he had three lines in this episode.

"of Shawn and ME", not "of Shawn and I!" UGH. Come on! Ninth grade grammar!

Um that's SEXUAL. Those are SEXUAL photos. EYU.

And no one talks about her brother like that unless the brother is a baby. "OHMAIGOD LOOKIT HOW CUTE?!"

She just left school to go home. In the middle of the day. Is anyone else noticing this?

This will only be cool if Annie tricks Shawn by trying to sleep with him.

A sponsor wouldn't just walk away like that after revealing that kind of information

Oh this show is...it's doing things...Dixon says he didn't know this many black people live in Beverly Hills.

Dixon is cooler all of a sudden. Literally. I just found him to be not lame for the first time ever.

He is not a smart man, Annie's dad. Not a smart man.

I like what Annie's mom is doing right now with the acting

Shawn pulled a Memento, big time.

Come on Annie, don't be fooled!

Okay so he is in on it with the PI. Got it! Shady PI.

HIV tests have same day results? I thought those took two weeks. I mean, they do. It takes 2 weeks. Not an hour. ARrgghh.

DOCTORS. NO! THAT! No, that's not how that would happen. She would at least ask her into another room instead of being like "P.S. you're pregnant! Since you're 16 I can totally say it in front of everyone, that won't be awkward for you or anything." omgomg NOTHING MAKES SENSE IN REALITY ON THIS SHOW

Aw just when Adrianna got to stop crying, buhh

Good actress

I'm scared too! Like Annie! Listen to the stupid Canadian girl!

Paternity Test should ALWAYS happen before giving money away, yes, obviously, duh, helloooo, but oh yeah, reality doesn't apply here, got it

"you shock me" ?? seriously?? what does that even mean?

gospelll

OMG SHE'S A LESBIAN. ROCK. did NOT see that coming

i didn't pay attention to that scene. what just happened? oh, kelly and brenda, yes

So it was in fact about Dixon not knowing how to be black and not wanting to tell Silver. Wow.

He IS gonna kill her, TOLD YOU

Okay, maybe not

MAYBE HE IS OMG

He is one creepy motherfucker

Is he gone? He is so gone. Knew it.

Navid is gonna know you called, silly Adrianna. Missed call.

Why leave Annie & Naomi alone together? They hate each other. Oh, so this dumb scene can happen.

Bad Acting 101.

How is this Annie's fault?

This show sucks

For an actual recap, check out LAist's always hilarious commentary by clicking here.

See full post

90210 Live(ish) Blogging [Loss of 12 Fangirl Points]

So I fully understand that watching 90210 and programs like it undermine my status as Fangirl, but you know, I believe in being as fully informed as possible about all pop culture. Not to mention, watching something like 90210 really makes you appreciate the shows out there that DO make sense and ARE quality.

But first:



Thanks to EruditeChick for that. There isn't a doubt in my mind that the new Trek movie will be light years more intelligent than 90210 (see below for why!) but this still gave me a good laugh. Plus it seems appropriate since all the comments on my Trek post over on AintItCool are all like "Clearly you like 90210" and I'm like "You have a point. But that doesn't mean 90210 is good and that doesn't mean Star Trek won't be awesome." In a nutshell.

As for this 90210 semi live blogging, I recommend you read it whilst watching. Oh crap, wish I had taken note of the time when I wrote each thought. Note to self - must work on the art of live(ish) blogging.

On tonight's episode, we meet Harry & Tracy's long lost son and are forced to watch Dixon deal with it. Annie randomly turns into a bitch and Naomi pals around with girls way younger than her, pretending to be Blair Waldorf.



Naomi & Annie meet long lost half brother and Lucille Bluth wants cake. Incredibly awkward start to what will no doubt be an incredibly awkward episode.

Harry meets long lost son and has appropriate reaction - shock, silence, confusion, etc. Tracy meets him and gets AH, gets really creepy! What kind of mom reacts that way to seeing her son for the first time?! Augh, who are you?!

Annie & Blando are being kissy kissy in the hallway and saying things like "Hello Girlfriend." Gross. And girlfriend & boyfriend already? I don't think these kids put that much thought into how they approach relationships. Oh wait. Duh.

Blando, you're really bland. Take a cue from Ozy. He's exotic and sexy. Blando is bland & really bland. Blechhhh

Is Adrianna part of the crew now? Things move quickly in Beverly Hills.

Kelly forces Annie to come into her office to talk about her half-brother with Naomi. Can guidance counselors even do that? Is that legal? How is this your business, Kelly?

Kelly compares having girlfriends to a plant. Nice analogy on the fly. This show makes me upset.

WHAT IS ADRIANNA DOING THERE?! SHE IS NOT FRIENDS WITH THEM.

This scene! Finally! Introduce the different groups at school! Jocks & Drama kids! How exciting!

Eyu. Mean Annie makes me want to throw up.

These girls are obviously younger than Annalynne McCord, come on. Not buying this for a second.

Dixon's having daddy issues. In case you couldn't tell.

Annie is freaking me out with the mean. Stop it.

OMG CLOSE UPS ON THE SIDEKICKS. EXCUSE ME!?

Annie! Ack! What's wrong with you? Why are you so mean?! My skin hurts.

Ethan agrees with me about Annie so I like him for a moment and call him Ethan, not Blando

Omg, gay man!!! Sterotypical gay theater student in the back ground!!! Too busy watching the way his blue & orange ensemble shines in the sun to pay attention to anything that just happened between Ozy & Naomi.

Brenda's being weird, Kelly's like be my friend! A plant is exchanged.

The Writers - "Whats a funny like, foreign name and some of sort hilarious word we can pair it with? So Tabitha can have this hilarious line when she brings it up? Foreign...foreign...foreign...omg, JEAN LUC HAHAHAHAHA, okay okay, phew, that's amazing, okay, now what else sounds funny...funny thing....funny word. omg CHIHUAHUA YES OMG HAHAHAHA THEY ARE SO SMALL AND FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAA WE'RE SO FUNNY!!!"

What is she wearing? It's the return of Naomi's ridiculous outfits!

That cat wins

I don't believe you, Dustin Milligan. I don't believe you care about lacrosse that much. But nice try.

Water Shiatsu haha, okay, that's a litte funny

That much raw fish isn't good for you

MMMM tuna sashimi. Be grateful, Long Lost Son, I wish I could eat that much mercury all the time.

That was a really awkward moment from Silver on the bed. And then Annie gets nekkid. What's happening.

They're gonna do it

Haha "Yes, like 17 times." brings my first actul chuckle of the show

Annie's changed so much in a day! Whatever will she do! How can she get her old self back?! How can she remember back a day?!

Uh oh. Something tells me Dixon's gonna eff up

Woahhh shot down by Brenda. Heavy. Weird. I wonder what's going on. Oh wait, they showed Brenda saying "I slept with Ryan" in the preview. Good thing that got cleared up.

Adrianna goes to lacrosse games with Silver. Cause they're best friends now. AHH.

Blando & Silver! They are dating in real life! Teehee!

Naomi bares her midriff cause apparently it's 1997.

Ozy's hot

I like Ozy

Annie's the cat?! Hahaa what?!?! Naomi kissed her?! As the cat?! That's so weird and unnecesary! What's going on! This show makes me sad.

Oh look, Dixon effs up. Surprise.

Sean pipes in with lacrosse advice cause he obviously knows exactly what he's talking about

"Screw you." !!!!!! Hawt. He meant that shit.

That dramatic pause between Harry & Dixon in the locker room was entirely too long

Someone fucked up a liiiiine

I'm bored. I have no idea what happened in this scene, nor do I care

Where's Navid?

Annie's like a cartoon character. Didn't fully realise that until the episode she dresses up like a giant cat. Hmm.

Can they reference Save By The Bell? I feel warped. I don't know why. But it seems wrong to me. And what did that even mean? You can't say Saved By The Bell on the SBTB set? Or you can't say Macbeth on the SBTB set? Now is when I admit I might be high right now.

Kelly & Brenda are hypocrites

And I love this song.

OMG IS SEAN EVIL?

SEAN'S EVIL!! I actually did not see that coming. Or, I guess evil is a strong word. This isn't Heroes. But he's not the good guy we all think he is.

No more eps til January 6th? I think somehow I'll deal. See full post