Killing the dream.

Well, it's happened. It's out. It's on MTV news, so that means it's real, right? Keanu Reeves is not only going to make a Cowboy Bebop movie, is not even just going to play the protagonist Spike Spiegel for whom he is wrong on a number of levels (see our previous casting call post), but he is going to star as Spike Spiegel in live action movie of Cowboy Bebop that condenses the entire series into two goddamn hours.

Oh, Jesus, why. Why, God, why, explain it to me, why, why goddamnit why.

"Oh yeah, cool,” he said when I asked him about the flick recently. “We’re trying to do that.”

Trying and already failing.

For anyone who's seen the series, I don't have to say anything other than the above for you to understand how fundamentally awful this is going to be. Some people out there, however, haven't seen it. Maybe they didn't have the time, maybe they think anime is stupid, who knows. But let's just jot down a quick little laundry list of the things that make the series completely amazing.

Scope. The scope of the show, on every single level, is astounding. The breadth of genres dipped into; musical styles used to terrific, startling effect; the depth and stretch and detail of the world the series takes place in, our world turned sideways after a horrific and believable accident render the Earth all but uninhabitable; the places the characters go; the places the characters come from. Cowboy Bebop is dazzlingly creative. However, in the twenty six episodes of the series and the feature film that already exists, they mined barely a fraction of the characters varied origins, the infrastructure our solar system currently runs under, etc etc. Which leads us into:

Brevity. Not just the soul of wit. A good number of the show's episodes work so well because they are brief. Portraits. Vignettes. The entire series, in the end, proves to be as cohesive as Spike's perception of reality which, if you've watched the series, you'll know... ain't so hot.

So I guess there is one thing Spike and Keanu have in common.

More after the jump

The Music. In the interview, Keanu says:“I think that would be a production designer’s dream...I think you just need a good production designer.”. Just? Just? Oh, no. You need much much much more than just a good production designer, but hey- that's a given. Gee, you think? Give that there are, in fact, examples of very well designed cross-genre shows (Firefly, anyway? Blade Runner, anyone?!), let's just say, yeah, okay, it's a given that the Production Designer should be pretty damn good. But hey, Keanu, how about the music? Why not give it a mention? After all, it is in the goddamn title.

If the name 'Yoko Kanno' isn't one of the first attached to this monstrosity, then the people behind are even greater asshats than I had previously thought possible.

The Crew is the soul of the show, of course. They get their own episodes to showcase their awesomeness, or their pasts, or their journeys or their whatever, though Spike remains the central figure throughout the bulk of the series. All I'm saying is, answer me this: Who the hell do you think you're going to get to play Jet Black?

Spike Spiegel sees the past in one eye and the present in the other. He's not sure if he's awake or asleep, ever. He's cool and slick and easily irritated unless he's around someone who's irritable, than he's completely unflappable. He's betrayed people, he's been betrayed, and he has an arch nemesis. He's in his late twenties. He's a jeet kune do master. And yes, he has a green afro. Keanu is totally wrong for this part. Maybe fifteen years ago he could have pulled it off, but that day has passed, and anyway, pulling it off is not good enough, not for a work like Bebop. LeePaceLeePaceLeePace. I'm not even a Lee Pace fangirl. I just jumped on the Pushing Daisies bandwagon, and before that I was only peripherally aware of his existence, like his role in Infamous. I'm not just throwing that name around because I think he's dreamy.

Although, clearly, I do.

Lee Pace. Lee Pace Lee Pace Lee Pace.

Lee Pace.

This movie... good God almighty. This movie is such a bad idea. It was bad enough when it was just a rumor that was trailing Keanu's name. It is so much infinitely worse now that not only has that part of the rumor been confirmed, but the people for whom this is such a passion project seem to think that it is in some way a decent idea to try and take 26 episodes and condense it into 2 hours. This is more effing batshit an idea than trying to condense Watchmen into a single movie, and Watchmen actually has a linear storyline. Now, such a storyline may, in fact, be gleaned from Cowboy Bebop. Like any good story, it features things from the past coming to a head. But that's not what the series is about. That's one fraction of a character's journey through the series, that's not the bulk of it. I don't think these pepole have any idea what it is about, either, or else they wouldn't think this is a good idea.

Take a look at this clip and you’ll get an idea of why Reeves is not only a perfect-looking fit for Spiegel, but also why he thinks the most important person on the set will be the one trying to translate the series’ unique look.

MTV? You have officially crossed the line from Overrated Uberwhore to Soulless Waste. Congratulations.

Reeves revealed that this outline for the flick is currently focusing on the origins of the fictional “Bebop” drug developed by the military, which provides its users with a brief surge of superhuman reflexes and awareness. “We’re taking the Red Eye [story], the beginning part of the series,” he explained, “and then we’ll deal with the end of the series. We’re trying to figure out [the time frame]. We’re looking at the story right now."

I'm sorry, are you serious? If you're such a big damn fan of the show, how could you have possibly MISSED THE TWO HOUR THEATRICALLY-RELEASED MOVIE THAT DEALT WITH BIOLOGICAL WARFARE, REDUNDANT SOLDIERS, AND THE MILITARY?!

GodDAMNit.

Yeah, it’s so episodic and so disconnected. We’re trying to figure out what pieces to put together to tell one story,” he explained. “Because it’s such a short form, to make a 2 hour version [will be tough]. And it’s got so much of an origin-story obligation; you’ve got to get people up to speed, but you don’t want to do much of that. There are a lot of things to take into consideration, but we think we can do something good.”

Really? Cuz it's not that hard. Ballad of Fallen Angels, Jupiter Jazz 1 and 2, Real Folk Blues 1 and 2. Spike movie. Will it strip out the endless myriad of small touches and foreshadowing that make the revelations of those episodes so important? Sure. Will it push the other vibrant, interesting characters of the show to the background and allow for roughly zero time exploring them? You know it. So you know what, I take it back. Here's a plan: Don't. Don't do it. Don't make shit up about a drug of zero importance to the Bebop universe (when the important aspect would be, I don't know, the drug syndicate...) when you don't have to. When you have more than enough in those 26 episodes to make something pertinent, that comments on the projected future of man, the places technology can take and then strand us, and the search of one man to wake up.

Or, hey, do the fans, and the potential fans, a favor- and just don't do it at all.
See full post

Casting call. Trust me on this one.

It's a magnificent debate to find one's self in. Who should play who in the live action version of your most treasured cartoon, comic, or book? These choices essentially decide whether an adaptation works or doesn't. Would Iron Man have been the success it was without RDJ? No. Not even kind of. He didn't just embody the role, the he defined it. His charisma, presence, and total lack of predictability elevated the film to a different level than simply a fun superhero flick. It's a welcome and overdue practice- casting, not necessarily A-list talent, but real talent in films that would typically be considered superfluous. Hulk, while not anything near the movie Iron Man was, still rocked the casting, so at least all the moments between the characters were full, interesting, compelling. Same with Hell Boy, with the new Batman franchise- the casting is so beyond important, it's not to be believed. And here comes Captain America.



Now, anyone who's spoken to me about this knows that, as far as I'm concerned, there is only one man who was born to play this role, and his pal Sundance came in as a close second.

From All Things Fangirl

However, Paul Newman is, tragically, no longer with us, and so we must look elsewhere. And I’m lookin’ at Patrick Wilson.

You may recognize Pat from such rollicking good times as Little Children,Hard Candy, and the action-adventure rollercoaster The Phantom of the Opera, in which he had long Fabiotastic hair and jacked King Leonidas’s chick like it weren’t no thang. Oh, and he’s also playing a lead role in the film adaptation of Alan Moore and David Gibbons’ graphic novel Watchmen, playing Niteowl the second. So, why would he be a good Cap?

From All Things Fangirl

He has the look. American, could be an everyman, but stand-up and demonstrably built. Capable of being charming, dashing, hard- a real leading man. Not that he really plays leading men, he usually plays deviants or emotionally damaged failures, or… you know, failed superheroes who can’t get it up. But! But. He’s got the chops. His range and power as an actor are indisputable. He’s also masterful at changing on screen. Hard Candy is a wonderful example of this- the presence he exudes changes wholly from the beginning of the film to the end. I can’t wait to see the journey he takes in Watchmen. Patrick would tackle Steve Rogers with gravity and skill, and he’d look good doing it.

From All Things Fangirl

Another option is Cheyenne Jackson.

From All Things Fangirl

You’d have to blondify the hell out of him, but once done, he’d make an excellent, if rather young, Cap. He’s a stage actor, so he’d be great at physicality, but I’m not sure they’d want to take the chance on handing him a franchise like this when he hasn’t really done anything at this level before.

From All Things Fangirl

Then again, of all the issues Superman Returns may have had, Brandon Routh was not one of them. So there’s points in the unknown’s category. And that’s pretty much where I’m at with Captain America. No Eckhart, no Pitt, NO CRAIG. I worship at the altar of Daniel “Walking Personification of Sex” Craig more than most, but I don’t think he’s right for Cap. I think he’d rock the shit out of it, but I don’t think this is the role for him. Not now. Anyway, I want more Bond.

Moving right along, a casting call of infinite more import. So, not to hate on Keanu Reeves, but I’m sick to fucking shit of Keanu Reeves. And I like the guy, but I swear to God. This Cowboy Bebop buzz is killing my soul.

If you’re not a CBBP fan, you probably haven’t seen the show, because if you’ve seen the show, you essentially have no choice but to be a fan. Suffice it to say, I am one. Now, if you’re not a CBBP fan, it’s entirely possible you don’t know that its been optioned, and that the man who optioned it is Keanu Reeve’s manager, and producer of such films as Constantine. Based off a comic. Starring Keanu Reeves. Hollywood, we have a problem.

From All Things Fangirl

There is only one person alive in this industry capable of portraying Spike Spiegel, the tragic hero of CBBP, and that man, ladies and gentlemen, is- not Keanu Reeves, twelve years too old and several leagues short of major, in this instance- Lee Pace. Yes, the piemaker prince, the tall, gangly rascal with that marvelous smile. Aside from being as close to picture perfect as humanly possible, he’s a phenomenal actor. He has range, style, charisma, charm, and the perfect smile.

Sigh.

Let’s take a look, shall we?

From All Things Fangirl

From All Things Fangirl

IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE. Through his impressive myriad of roles, Pace has demonstrated an ability to go everyplace Spike does in the course of the series. The cockiness, the determination, the shiftless layabout and the significantly darker side of things, in The Fall and Infamous. And the whole time he exudes irascible charm, from every pore.

We'll see if God has an interest in film or not when the CBBP live action film gets a greenlight and the cast is announced. See full post

The Day The Earth Stood Still [Hmmmm]

Saw The Day The Earth Stood Still last night. My thoughts still aren't fully formulated, but I wanted to get something down.



Original Trailer


New Trailer

Let me begin by saying this isn't a bad movie. It's not horrible, not laughable, not the blight in the history of science fiction film that so many of us, especially fans of the original, were expecting. In fact, the first two thirds of it are actually pretty good. The film is enjoyable & interesting and comes frustratingly close to pulling off the impossible (properly modernizing a classic) but in the end, it just falls short.

***Minor Spoiler Alert***

What does this "remake" (I prefer reimagining in this case) have in common with the original? There is a woman, there is a boy, there is a (sort of) robot & there is an alien. Alien & Robot land on Earth. Robot reacts immediately to violence with retaliatory violence. Alien is taken away by government for questioning. Alien escapes. Alien represents the universe & has a message for the Earth...sort of. Woman & Boy end up knowing Alien better than any other human knows him. There is a Dr. Barnhardt that speaks with Alien. Alien leaves planet at end of film.

And that's it. May seem like a lot...but let me tell you...it isn't. There are some nice homages to the original that made me smile (you'll know them when you see 'em) but overall it was very much a different film that might have definitely would have made more sense had it been approached as a sequel rather than a remake. But if we get into the ridiculousness surrounding unecessary remake versus appropriate sequel we'll be here all day. Let me just point out that the original ends with Klaatu SAYING HE WILL COME BACK AND EFF US IF WE DON'T CLEAN UP OUR ACT (but in that charming classically trained British actor way) and oh hey, look at that, we're still blowing each other up. A sequel set in real time, 57 years later would have been amazing. Muh. Anyway.

There are a lot of big changes. Besides what we all could have predicted - get to know fleshed out Woman & Boy early on, Klaatu sort of has powers, bigger fx, a more destructive Gort - the film goes further than the obvious. The big changes are Klaatu's reason for being here, why he looks human, a certain huge decision he makes that only he can undo and the state of the Earth when he leaves.




***BIG SPOILER ALERT***



(To elaborate, Woman isn't a secretary. She's a scientist. And she doesn't have a swell gentleman caller. She has a dead husband & a stepson who likes to give her a hard time, but really, he loves her. Hrmm. Klaatu controls electric currents. That way he can fuck shit up AND un-fuck shit up. Plus Gort can dissolve into rapidly multiplying silver bugs that destroy everything they touch. Klaatu came to Earth because humans are destroying it and if they can never change (which he deduces they can't), they must be wiped out. Process to wipe them out begins. He sees Woman & Boy hugging & crying and realizes humans aren't all bad and wants to save them. Unfortunately there is a cost. He stops the death of all people by...doing something involving his spaceship. All electricity stops as he leaves. Humans are left to start over again. We think. It's unclear.)



***END OF BIG SPOILERS***



***Minor Spoiler Alert. Again.***


Overall, the new ideas introduced are pretty cool and the updates to the classic material works. Where the film fails is the last third or so. All of a sudden it starts going in a direction that just doesn't make sense. The big disappointment for me was WHY CANT HE STOP GORT BY SAYING KLAATU BARADA NIKTO (even though I could have SWORN I heard him say it at the beginning) ???? And why that one random rushed death? And why did it remain a death when the alien next to you can bring people back to life with his electrical current power? WHY NOT stick to the original structure? Was the ending not Hollywood enough? I thought the ending to the original was perfect. Relevant, harrowing, horrifying, and an important warning - it had so much of an impact because Klaatu's reason for being there isn't revealed until the very end. In this film, that is scratched for a big exercise in fx, followed immediately an ending so abrupt and anticlimactic, that the audience is left utterly unsatisfied and with A LOT of questions.

As for the performances - the casting was pretty right on. Half the time Jennifer Connolly was on screen I was just plain in awe of her. Terrific actress and mindbogglingly gorgeous. Are we sure she's real? Jayden Smith can cry on cue and is pretty cute, so I'll let that one slide. Jon Hamm is a perfect human being. John Cleese, though only in one scene, was an inspired choice for Barnhardt. And Keanu. At first I was unsettled by this choice in casting as Michael Rennie was so charming & delightful in his icy, unearthly ways. Keanu's Klaatu (band name anyone? maybe? no? okay.) is cold & kinda hostile, more or less the stark opposite of Rennie's take. But considering how this film differs from the original, it works. He speaks in non emotional, Vulcan-like tones (I've been watching Trek: TOS lately to educate myself), making sure to hit every word carefully. The easiest acting role of all time? Maybe. But easy looks good on Keanu.

This film ends up being mostly about the beauty of humanity and how we are worth it, despite all our flaws. And you know, it could have been so powerful. This film COULD have been beautiful and it frustrates me all the more because it came so close, only to give up two thirds of the way through...and here and there before the final third, but we won't get into that now.

All I can say is please go see it so we can talk about it, both what we liked and what made us crazy. Still having trouble figuring out how I feel about it all and would love to hear some opinions!

UPDATE:

Found an article on the changes made for the remake here. Pretty illuminating stuff actually. Here's the bit about Klaatu Barada Nikto

One crucial element that made the 57-year jump from the 1951 version to the 2008 remake was the iconic line “Klatuu Barad Nikto” - the alien command that prevents the unstoppable robot Gort from unleashing destruction upon Earth. Actor Reeves stated that he was surprised not to find that line in the script when he first read it, but he and the director ensured that it made it into the final film (although it’s during a loud scene where some viewers may miss it). To enhance the impact, several techniques were used, including having Reeves memorize and pronounce the words backwards, which were then reversed to put them in the right order. The final mix overlays this upon double-reverse upon a take of Reeves reading the line in the usual order. (UPDATE: Although the line is in the film, it is buried in the mix beneath a ton of sound effects: to a casual viewer it may be apparent that the alien Klatuu is speaking in his native language to Gort; only fans will recognize, just barely, the specific words.)

So I did hear it mixed in at the beginning! Listen for yourself after Klaatu first gets off the ship & had to stop Gort. Though still doesn't explain why he can't say it later to stop Gort... See full post