Wednesday, May 12, 2010

90210 Semi Live Blogging - Javianna. Featuring Old School.

Why in god's name are these boys going to see a movie at the Chinese 6? Of all the theaters in LA...really?

Navid is being all pissy cause he hates javierjavierjavier and Adrianna may or may not be dating him. So...Rumer Willis is just...out of the picture then?

Naomi's card is declined. Inexplicably, Jen is in charge of her finances, despite being totally irresponsible herself. And no, this doesn't make sense. Don't try to explain to me how it does. Cause you would be wrong.

Jay Boyd? MYSTERY!

EYU NO Ivy & Dixon are sitting on each other and being gross on the beach. Whywhywhy. She invites him to come with her Australia, even though in Australia she would no doubt meet someone much hotter and much less sociopathic.

Pause to watch Luke Wilson be hot in Old School. Damn. What happened?!                       ------------------->

Liam and Annie enjoying each other's company. I actually enjoy them together. Since they actually have some sort of connection established, unlike Naomi & Liam. Who never had chemistry or anything in common Ever. Blech.

JASPER. On crutches. So clearly he's dangerous with all of his not being able to walk, you're right Liam, so so dangerous.

Jasper the psycho is actually being kind of sweet in his psycho-ness. He asks Annie to be his friend and she turns him down. Oh I don't see this ending well.

Silver & Teddy are making out all over the place. He still looks like a chipmunk. They have not in fact done the "mattress mambo" yet. Thanks for that.

Navid brings a bouquet of flowers flowers for Adrianna. Javierjavierjavier brings her an even BIGGER bouquet of flowers. Snap.

I do like Navid though. I hope he gets the girl.

Teddy's dad checks Teddy's phone - It's Silver saying she misses him. Cue boring father-son relationship talk bullshit and Teddy claiming he loves her. These high school kids really throw that word around willy nilly, don't they?

Harry won't let Dixon go to Australia because he "doesn't think he deserves it." AGREED. Dixon was a complete and utter sociopath these season and most CERTAINLY does not deserve a trip to Australia. Debbie disagrees for some stupid reason.

Javierjavierjavier actually kind of looks like Navid in his face a little bit. Adrianna clearly has a type. Except when she's a lesbian.

Is this guy a famous singer in real life or something? Why is he performing a whole song?

Is Teddy gonna try to break up with Silver again? This is so boring.

Meanwhile, Phil from Lost/Jimmy Barrett from Mad Men is in this Old School scene! One day I will learn his name and never forget it. (Patrick Fischler. Got it!)

Uh oh. Some sexin is about to happen. And then Teddy's gonna dump her. And then something bad is gonna happen.

Since when does unbottoning your shirt automatically mean you're about to do it with your high school boyfriend? I mean...she unbuttoned A button and Teddy was like "are you sure?" or some shit. Annoying.

UM is that Silver's boob?

 Yeah. That's boob.

Naomi is suddenly driving a clunker for no reason. Don't care what her dumb explanation is.

Ohmygod, it's Simon Helberg! He's in Old School! Wtf! That's awesome! My god Luke Wilson was hot.

So Liam and Naomi broke up but are still friends? Hot head Naomi? This seems...out of character? Oh wait. Did they not break up? Are they breaking up now? They should. Naomi sucks.

Since when is the mash in bangers and mash....hash browns? That's just incorrect.

Adrianna didn't know that Lila & Navid broke up. And she still likes him. And it's like the lesbianism never happened. Oookay, 90210.

Why is this dumbass who took that naked photo of Annie still on this show? I hate this guy.

Annie stands up for Jasper and it's kind of sweet. I kind of like Annie now. Whereas last season I wanted to strangle her. Constantly.

Liam sees Jasper and Annie having a moment and doesn't like it one bit. Hot. Jealously FTW!

Does Silver live alone? Where's Kelly?

In a highly inappropriate move, Teddy's dad finds out Silver's address and shows up at her house, that she lives in alone, late at night, to bribe her. Got it.

Naomi visits Liam at his boat. She is going to apologize. I hope it doesn't matter and they break up anyway. I mean, come ON, what could he possibly see in her, let's be honest. looking.
Naomi is not

Bwhaha they call Javierjavierjavier and Adrianna Javianna. That's fairly amusing.

Navid is Jewish? That's the first I've heard of that. I'm Jewish! 

Dixon, like the sociopath he is, advises Navid to interfere in Adrianna's life, advising him to "up his game" or some shit. As opposed to just telling her how he feels. Siiigh.

Old School break! Luke Wilson scene! Gotta watch!

Teddy isn't doing well in his tennis match. Obviously Silver is to blame.

Dixon is selling his iPod? That's an old looking iPod. 200 bucks? WAY too much. He is such an idiot. Such a psycho idiot. Ivy, leave NOW! Get out while you CAN!

Teddy and Silver. Boooorrreedddddd. As if Silver ACTUALLY affected his game at all whatsoever. This is so dumb.Woah, Silver is dumping him? Did she take the money?

Adrianna looks amazing in her dress cause she is the prettiest girl on the show, yaaaaay!

ADRIANNA, NAOMI, SILVER, WHY IS NO ONE MENTIONING GIA?! Short term memories, these kids have.

Navid got her a gawdy bracelet to prove his love. And makes the second Affair to Remember reference on the CW this week.

Adrianna doesn't know how to perform, she just kind of bops around and it's awkward.

YES, is Ivy as weirded out by Dixon as I am?!

Dixon is being crazy again. Good job, Dixon. Please leave this show. I hate you.

Liam and Annie are working together! Yay! He liiiiiiikes her. He's protective of herrrrrr.

Oh shit, Liam opened the letter! Maybe you should delete that from your computer, Annie? Just maybe? A little bit? No? Okay.


Oh no, Silver and Dixon cannot get back together. I hate this show.

Underage drinking. Always a good idea.

That's...a lot of vodka. Oh no.

Ivy didn't freak out! Dixon did! This is nonsence! She didn't pick a fight! He did!

Oh no, Dixon and Silver are drunk together and they are gonna make out and this is so dumb and gross. I hate Dixon's sexin face. And Teddy didn't even break up with Silver, she broke up with him! THIS IS SO STUPID.

Yes you're drunk, yes this is a mistake, please exit the situation.

Ivy, don't apologize, you did nothing wrong and you don't wanna bring Dixon with you to Austalia.

Adrianna needs a mic stand! I figured it out!

Ohh, she is gonna go with javierjavierjavier to New York and never see Navid's gift and the season is gonna end and this sucks.

Debbie finds out that Dixon broke into school. As if lying to an older woman to date her and skipping school and generally sucking at life isn't reason enough to not go to Australia.

Naomi picks finding out what her sister is up to over talking to Liam. Liam calls Annie. SOMETHING HAPPEN ON THIS SHOW ALREADY.

Jen is pregnant? Is the dad Ryan? Or the foreign dude? Do I care? Nope. Wait, was this the finale? It can't be, right? Because there was no resolution to any storyline whatsoever?

Okay, not the finale. Not sure to be glad or pissed about the fact that I have one more episode to watch. Old School > 90210.


Lisa said...

1) Thank you again for recapping this because it makes me feel less bad about my life for watching this show.

2) I like how Gossip Girl assumes their audience can put together a reference ("You don't get to Affair to Remember me!") while 90210 just assumes we're all 14 and dumb and have never heard of the film and wouldn't have the sense to IMDB it to find out what it was.

3) There's a recap for the finale, too, right? Because it's bonkers.