Before There Was GaGa: Muse, Da7e, Sarah and Steffie Correct Gossip Girl

Bet you thought you could escape criticism by cramming a whole bunch of NYU fact-checking into this week’s episode, didn’t you, Gossip Girl? This week saw the first inclusions of NYU’s Theater lifestyle, right down to rampant Lady GaGa references. Dan is even looking towards applying to Tisch soon, locking him into the College of Arts and Sciences’ General Studies program.

Sadly, that didn’t wholly distract us from Jenny and Serena both painfully limping through their obvious and repeated plotlines. Serena is like a bitch in heat, unable to keep her sex inside her shoulder-pad dress and Jenny seems to have completely forgotten her time as a High School dropout, when her bad decision making lead her business partner to burning Jenny’s fashion line in a curbside trash can.

Not to mention all the conservative backlash that DIDN’T ACTUALLY HAPPEN when last week’s “threesome” went down was head-faked from this episode where we not only got to see the consequences of not including a stranger as your third sex wheel, but also we peeped more flashbacks to the dirty deed itself.

Oh, and Lady GaGa’s brief and shoddily-edited cameo might have been the most tolerable part of the episode. Did we mention we have an exclusive GaGa video? Yeah. we thought you’d like that.

This week, Muse and Da7e have reached out to another NYU alumni: Sarah. All three of us attended Tisch School of the Arts at NYU, both ladies in a theater conservatory and the penis holding down the written word at Tisch’s Department of Dramatic Writing. In that sense, we feel we’re all qualified.

But, let’s get down to what we’re here to do, shall we?



Season 3, Episode 10: The Last Days Of Disco Stick
Aired: 11/16/09
We Went To NYU: 2003-2007

On Gossip Girl:




Blair wants to increase the size of her student army by recruiting the theater kids. She meets them all at The Bleeker, where they reject her because her stepfather Cyrus isn’t famous enough.

At NYU:




First off: It’s nice to finally get a whiff of the real multi-school drama that lives in New York University. You know how these days, post college, you ask what someone does for a living, then lightly judge them based on that? Yeah, at NYU it was the schools. Tisch kids are arty, and within the arty-ness there are different theater conservatories that makes up the drama program. Each conservatory has its own reputation for a certain type of behavior.

Though we’d love to tell you that NYU makes a list of its conservatories and reputations readily available, we suggest you try navigating Tisch’s website before you judge us for using Wikipedia as a jumping off point.

Undergrad drama students are placed in one of eight conservatories, each specializing in something different:

• Stella Adler Conservatory (Focuses on Stella Adler's Technique and spirit of acting)


• Atlantic Theater Company (Focuses on David Mamet's "Practical Aesthetics" acting technique)


• Collaborative Arts Project 21 (CAP21, focuses on musical theatre)


• Experimental Theatre Wing (Focuses on avant garde theatre through an exploration of varied techniques)


• The Meisner Extension (Focuses on Sanford Meisner's version of Stanislavsky's System)


• Playwrights Horizons Theater School (Focuses on a range of theatrical careers including acting, directing, and design.)


• Lee Strasberg Theatre Institute (Focuses on Lee Strasberg's "Method" style of acting)


• Technical Production Track (Focuses primarily on design, but also features theatre management)

A student from the Experimental Theater Wing (ETW for short) would be more likely to get naked and take drugs than someone from CAP (Collaborative Arts Project 21), who will be more likely to make you learn the whole soundtrack to Wicked so they had someone to sing with. Got the basic jist?

Point being, Gossip Girl is not interested in compartmentalizing their stereotypes when it comes to NYU’s famous Art school. We get one type of Tischy: The pompus sycophant that thinks they are better than everyone else. We’ll just assume we’re looking at CAP kids, because – really – who else has a rotating cabaret run by a closeted dude who loves Lady GaGa?

Though that same character, if he were real, would not be making the Gaga Ahmadinejad joke. As a matter of fact, we don’t think anyone is that much of a dick, not even real CAP kids.

Sarah: These kids totally don't ring of CAP to me, either. First of all, CAP has time for no one but themselves, and they DO NOT share musical moments with non-CAPers. And no one in Tisch is this blatantly obvious about who their parents are. No one.

Muse: I still vote CAP but mostly because I feel guilty insulting any other studio.

Sarah: Also, can we talk about what these "Tisch kids" are wearing? To quote SNL....really!?! Where are the leggings? The sweatpants? The layers? The incredibly cultivated grungy look? No one in Tisch ever looks this clean.

The rest after the jump!


On Gossip Girl:




“We all know who my father is. This is Willa Weinstein.”

AT NYU:




Who is Paul Hoffman's father? We're assuming Willa Weinstein is somehow related to whomever Weinstein Residence Hall is named after, not the producers, right? Right?

Sarah: I can count on one hand how many moguls and movie star's kids went to Tisch. Because usually the sons of daughters of movie stars and moguls don't go to college, gossip girl--they stay in LA, party their faces off, and use their connections to get cast in films. Duh. BUT this episode does raise an interesting question about Tisch--how many students are overprivileged, self-important assholes, and how many are actually cool and talented? The former definitely exist (like the girl, who shall remain nameless, who got her jaw broken during sex) but uh...the majority of the kids I knew were/are talented, and on some sort of aid--or just owe Tisch insane amounts of money. Like me.

Muse: Tisch kids aren't ALL the sons & daughters of important/famous/industry people, hai exaggeration. Only the ones from LA had parents that remotely fit that category and I can still barely think of any. The only "my dad's famous" NYU students I can think of from our era are Sting's son & the daughter of the bassist for AC/DC. Not exactly "Willa Weinstein" territory.

Da7e: I'm going to go off the reservation here and make a way-out-there connection. Ready? I propose that Willa is supposed to be one of the Weinstein's kids but her first name is actually a hint about who Paul's father is (Weinstein daughters, in case you care: Lily, Emma, Sarah and Nicole). Phillip Seymour Hoffman, who I know lives in NYC because he locked his bike on one of my exterior sets where I was shooting, is in a relationship with costume designer Mimi O'Donnell. They have a son, Cooper Alexander, and two daughters, Tallulah and... Willa. Mystery solved? Is this show calling Cooper Hoffman gay?

Muse: That's really awkward, Gossip Girl. Cooper Hoffman is like, five.

Sarah: What does ring true here is how small and incestous Tisch is. And maybe this is just the acting department, but I knew everyone in my year, and a good number of people older and younger than me--some just by name, and some were my best friends, but still. It's also the kind of school where everyone knows everything, instantly. Like that girl who got her jaw broken while having sex. Or who just came out. Or who's sleeping with an acting teacher. And yes--we do talk that much shit--but no one in Tisch dresses like these kids. Ever.

Muse: I have a new theory that every single person from our Tisch class knows that broken-jaw-during-sex story. It's THE urban legend of Tisch c/o '07. Except it's true.

Da7e: W.T.F is this jaw thing? Jesus! I see why Dan had such a problem with his threesome, you talkative, cryptic actresses who won't sleep with me.

On Gossip Girl:




“If I wanna act, I can do it here at NYU with the best theater department in the country.” – Olivia.

Sarah: Undergrad? Really? Better than Julliard? There is no such thing as this, it changes every year depending on who's heading the department and who's IN the department, etc.

On Gossip Girl:




Instead of an establishing exterior of the fictional Ehrlich Residence Hall, we get a shot of One University Place. And SPOTTED: Our first NYU flag.

At NYU:



Neat-o! Our first NYU flag barely visible in the upper left hand corner of the screen just goes to show you that the show does occasionally shoot on campus, even if all evidence suggests they aren't allowed to show real university signage.

One University Place has the same awning as an NYU building, but it isn't, despite being right next to Weinstein Residence Hall with it's two interior dining halls that our characters will never use, apparently.

On Gossip Girl:




Blair and Olivia talk in the hall.

Da7e: I'm sorry, but I put this in just so I can talk about that still. First off, I'm digging Blair's over-the-top teater outfit. Second: who puts up "Shhhhh! Please Be Quiet" signs in a dorm room? After mid-terms? Never. Third, and final: whomever is rocking the dorm room opposite Blair's with the curtains on the door is awesome. I hope it's Monica, the girl who magically transformed the Metallica logo into her own personal calling card. B-, set designers.

On Gossip Girl:




Olivia lies and claims she signed Dan and her up for the Bleeker Inn Cabaret a month ago. She’d blow it off, but Dan wants to apply to Tisch and it’s great “exposure” for him.

At NYU:




The lie about signing up a month ago is much more accurate than a sudden change of heart for our little Olivia. Not only because the Tisch website very clearly states: "Space Request in the Department of Drama is a two tiered process which involves notifying the Production Department of your production as well as filling out one of two available Space Request Forms." Also, if Olivia was asked to be involved in this, that means she's in a conservatory already, right?

Sarah: Are we sure Olivia is in Tisch? Because it seems to me that a star of her magnitude would so obviously go the Olsen twin way--spend a semester in Gallatin, surrounded by your security, and then drop out to go back to LA and party.

Muse: She did say earlier that she could act at NYU...and certainly not through CAS or Gallatin if she knows what's good for her...so I'll assume Tisch for the time being. Though, it's true, current famous people don't attend Tisch, only former child stars like Haley Joel Osment (ETW) or Mara Wilson (Playwrights).

Da7e: I peg Olivia as an Atlantic or Playwrights girl.

Muse: Atlantic's schedule wouldn't have allowed Olivia to do half the things she does on this show (they are strict as hell - like lock the door if you are 30 seconds late and mark you as absent strict as hell) and at least in my experience, it's the Playwrights kids who tend to engage in threesomes ;). Playwrights it is!


On Gossip Girl:




Obviously Gay Paul tells a group of cabaret newcomers at The Bleeker that they have 8 hours to adapt their fairytale and it better be good because Tisch faculty and a “legit agent” will be there.

At NYU:



The difference between going to NYU's art school and other art schools around the country is that the differentiation between "agent" and "legit agent" is something all of your peers would understand.

However, Obviously Gay Paul seems to forget he's talking to the star of Endless Knights 1-3, Fleur and the upcoming Bitches of Eastwick! How can he be so star-fuckery when he's talking about a Weinstein but oblivious to our Kristin Stewart stand in?

...wait. Now that we threw the Kristin Stewart thing in, it makes sense. Also, since we've met Olivia's bitchy agent.

Sarah: His line is amazing. Because Tisch students who already have agents mention it whenever possible.

Muse: Having a legit agent (as opposed to a commercial agent) is a badge of honor for Tischies. Nice one, GG.

On Gossip Girl:




Blair has a great idea for a Snow White musical featuring the music of “Tisch alumna Lady GaGa," cuz Paul loves his GaGa.

At NYU:




Time to clear up some shit regarding Stefani Germanotta and her NYU attendance.

Blair is right in the sense that Lady GaGa went to Tisch, though there is some debate on the internets as to which studio she ultimately attended. Some say she was in the Clive Davis Department of Recorded Music, the most recent addition to the Tisch family of schools, which probably could have been shoe-horned into the music department outside of Tisch, but it wasn't. Those of us who went to school with Ms Gaga recall her as a CAP 21 student.

However, Blair is wrong to call Stefani an alumna, as evidenced by this ELLE interview:

ELLE: You dropped out of NYU at 19. Why didn’t you want to finish?

Lady Gaga: I loved NYU, but I thought I could teach myself about art better than the school could. I really felt New York was my teacher and that I needed to bite the bullet and go it alone. I wasn’t interested in going to frat parties and doing those sorts of collegiate things. I was really interested in the music scene and waitressing and cleaning toilets, or whatever the fuck it was I was doing.

Before Steffie left the NYU scene to become Lady GaGa, she DID perform in an NYU talent competition not unlike this week's Gossip Girl cabaret. And we are happy to have scored the exclusive video, for the first time ever on the internets, here:



On Gossip Girl:



Rehearsal at…The Bleeker?

At NYU:




If there is one thing you will see on campus regardless of where you are it's rehearsals. In the hallways, in the parks, in your dorm, but NEVER in a coffee shop and NEVER during business hours. Bonus points for the geek's "The Internet Is For Lovers" t-shirt, though.

Sarah: AH! Rehearsal space. Yes, we would rehearse any and everywhere. To the point where it was a known fact (at least in Adler) that the entire 5th floor of the Tisch building is completely deserted. And perfect for scene study rehearsal.

Muse: Half of the dorms have their own rehearsal spaces, plus every studio and Tisch itself. Even though the Tischies are inexplicably putting their show on at a coffee shop (don't worry, we'll attack that later) there is no way they'd be rehearsing there all day. What coffee shop closes down during prime student-caffine-intake-time so a bunch of strange NYU freshmen can stumble their way through a stupid musical a GSP student wrote two seconds ago. I call bullshit.

On Gossip Girl:



The show breaks its style by confusing us with a blackmailing scene.

On Gossip Girl:




Before our Bleeker Cabaret is shown, we get a nighttime exterior of…One University Place again?

At NYU:



Once again, this is a residential building, not a NYU one. Nor is there a coffee shop that could reasonably be The Bleeker anywhere near this corner building. Though now you know where the closest ATM to Washington Square Park is, and that's saying something.

Muse: I laugh when I think of all the high school students who are gonna scout One University Place for The Bleeker when they visit NYU. At least when Felicity tread through this territory, the coffee shop existed. And guess what I did when I visited NY as a high school junior? I went to Dean & God damn Deluca and pretending I was Felicity. Gossip Girl, can't you hear the hearts of millions of 15 year old girls breaking with your lies?

On Gossip Girl:




The performance goes down at The Bleeker.

At NYU:



We have theaters for that shit!

Anyway, it looks like O.G.P's legit agent didn't show up, but the lukewarm attendance consisting of people who were in the other plays and under-acted and under-sung performance is pretty straight up. Especially when they could have gone the Glee route of auto-tuning Hilary Duff for her unmic'ed entrance into the play.

Sara: This looks like shit I put on with my friends in elementary school. No Tisch acting student would appear in some short play that is this insanely horrible. I mean, we do experimental, weird theatre, but damn if it isn't amazing.

Muse: WHY oh WHY is this performance being held at The Bleeker? Tisch freshmen have their shows either at studio or in the Tisch building. I mean, sure, at some point we had to start renting out actual space in a non-NYU owned building, but as a Freshman? Hells no. When NYU offers you free space for being a student, you take it.

On Gossip Girl:




Willa Weinstein yells “Kiss Her!” in the middle of the play.

At NYU:



Bitch! Don't be heckling! Where do you think you are, watching Transformers 2 at a midnight showing with a bunch of classless urbanites?! You're a Weinstein, goddammit!

Muse: Did you get the feeling that the "Snow White Dan & Vanessa Old Friends Kiss" bit was an homage to the Saved by the Bell episode where Zack and Jessie, old friends, do Snow White and kiss on stage and then realize they like each other?

Da7e: That's an obscure reference. Or just evidence that this particular episode of Gossip Girl was derivative and horrible.

On Gossip Girl:




Gay Paul says he’ll give Dan notes on his sample for when he applies to Tisch.

At NYU:




We're going to guess that Dan is talking about applying to the Department of Dramatic Writing at Tisch, because that'll be the place he'd apply if he wants to be a Playwright and not learn anything about theater.

Dramatic Writing is also the program Da7e attended, so we have the ability to be more informative this way. Also, we have some evidence to back us up. Something like an acting conservatory has a long application process and inter-school transfers are difficult without losing any time. Not for Dramatic Writing, however. Feel free to switch over to that awesome program by applying before March (so says the rules):

Applicants must fulfill the requirements specified by New York University. Send a nonreturnable portfolio of 5 to 25 typed pages that shows your abilities as a writer. Send us your stories and your play and film scripts. Please do not send poetry, or one short poem at the most, and also no personal essays. Show us your narrative abilities; your way with language, metaphor, imagery; and the way you evoke feeling. Ultimately, we are looking for writing that allows us to see your abilities as a storyteller. The early decision deadline is November 1, 2009. The deadline for internal transfer students (students already enrolled at New York University in another school) is March 1, 2010 while the deadline for all remaining transfers is April 1, 2010. The deadline for all other undergraduate applicants' portfolios is January 1, 2010.

But I wouldn't take advice from Obviously Gay Paul.

Da7e: I think my application was 25 pages single spaced. And you better believe it contained personal essays. I don't know what this new application shit is all about.

Muse: Hey, your program isn't called playwriting, right?

Da7e: No.

Muse: It's dramatic writing isn't it?

Da7e: Yes.

Muse: And...putting on a lame last second musical at a lame cabaret night thrown together by lame maybe-CAP students who then offer to give you "notes" on your "cample" are not how people transfer into Tisch, right? None of that would any of that have any weight whatsoever, right?

Da7e: No. F*ck Obviously Gay Paul.

Sarah: By the way, since WHEN does Dan want to write plays? Motherfucker got published in The New Yorker for god's sake. Ain't no way he's applying to dramatic writing. No offense Da7e.

On Gossip Girl:




Blair takes everyone to a Lady GaGa dress rehearsal, claims Poker Face is about GaGa playing cards with her stepdad.

At NYU:



This poker face is easy to read: he poisoned both cups, Westley!

On Gossip Girl:




Vanessa says: “I think Paul Hoffman kind of likes me.”

At NYU:




This is what happens to a lot of aspiring art students: they fall for the gay guy. Forever crushing the hopes for people like Da7e, who only appear gay but lose out to those that really are.

Muse: The "I think Paul likes me" bit is either a huge oversight or extremely clever. About half of our friends who would eventually come out, were still in the closet Freshmen year.

Final Thoughts On “The Last Days Of Disco Stick:”

Sarah: Can I begin by saying that this season sucks? Because it flat out does. Watching it actually puts me into a foul mood. Second. I understand *exactly* what the CW is trying to accomplish by having Penn, Vanessa, and Hilary get naked over and over again in this episode, but it is uncomfortable and makes my skin crawl. Yeah, I know they're all legal, but something about it feels so much like kiddie porn.

Da7e: This season has been largely lackluster. How can they make NYU seem like a smaller and more boring world that Frickin' Constance?

Muse: ...I like this season...What can I say, I'm easy to please. Though I agree that Dan/Vanessa/Olivia feels like kiddie porn. Can we keep the dirty sex scenes to Blair & Serena please.

Sarah: Could Serena's raging daddy issues be any more apparent? Look, I get your daddy doesn't want to talk to you, but sleeping with ANYTHING THAT WALKS AND LOOK AT YOU FUNNY WON'T MAKE HIM LOVE YOU

Da7e: Hey! You just made me remember that Serena's daddy tried to get in contact with her last episode, though now Lily has thrown herself into helping Little J find a date for some Horticulture nonsense. I wish Jenny would spend an episode in a flower garden, working. Maybe that would make me hate her less.

Muse: One of my favorite moments from the episode was Serena's decision at the bar..."The married congressman I wanna bone is having marital issues for the first time ever? That means I can totally sleep with him now, right? Cause when marriages have one problem, it means it's over and the couple isn't really married anymore, right? Yeah. That sounds good. So I'm just gonna go sleep with your married congressman cousin now, Nate. Bone you in like two episodes when I'm done with him. I'm a slut! Lalala."