Saturday, May 2, 2009

Swine Flu Turning Brits into Zombies...


So I was checking out Nerdcore, as I tend to do, and I came across a post called Swine Flu Zombies! So I thought, haha, yeah, pandemics make people zombies, way to join in on the fun sooo late, Nerdcore. But then I saw the article it was quoting....

From the BBC,

There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in London due to mutation of the H1N1 virus into new strain: H1Z1.

Similar to a scare originally found in Cambodia back in 2005, victims of a new strain of the swine flu virus H1N1 have been reported in London.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

The World Health Organization (WHO) has raised the alert to phase six, its highest level, and advised governments to activate pandemic contingency plans.

So I got really freaked out and was like, what the hell?! Zombies?! What's happening?! Then I continued reading the article,

In the latest developments:

* The Netherlands confirms its first case of zombie swine flu, in a three-year-old boy recently returned from Mexico. After passing away early this morning, he rose from the dead and lunged at his mother.

Okay, THAT's not true.

The article ends with this,

Have you been affected by the zombie strain of swine flu? You can send your experiences using the form below. You can also send your questions about the decision to raise the alert and we will send it to our health experts.

So, listen. Zombies aren't real. And the BBC is having some fun with gullible people like me. But...zombies aren't real...right? This article is making fun of how everyone is panicking over nothing, right? WHY DO I THINK ZOMBIES COULD BE REAL?

In other news, after forcing myself to sleep for 12 hours, I think I may be better! Take THAT, Zombie flu!!

ZOMBIIIESSSS AHHHHH

3 comments:

Herbo said...

Don't forget the number one rule of surviving Swine Zombie flu:

Never have that overly emotional scene when you have to contemplate whether or not to shoot your best friend who just turned into a zombie. Have no mercy. If they're a zombie, you pull the trigger. If you hesitate, they're only going to bite you at the last minute and then you're done for.

And always avoid that sketchy guy who gets bitten early on but always hides it under his sleeve, and then a few hours later he checks it and it looks really bad but he still doesn't say anything and then he turns into a zombie and bites the hot girl in the neck when nobody suspects it. Yeah, try to avoid that.

Scott said...

If it looks like the BBC, talks like the BBC, but has a URL nothing like the BBC without, indeed, BBC in the address anywhere, it ain't the BBC.

Which is a pity. The BBC lacks quality zombie reporting.

LoquaciousMuse said...

Haha, that is why I am not an investigative journalist and simply a geek blogger. But its my favorite swine flu coverage, that's for sure, true or not! Weee!