THE BRITNEY/BRITTNEY SPEARS EPISODE
JOHN STAMOS as dreamy dentist Dr. Carl, Ms. Pillsbury's new boyfriend who, through a commitment to the oral hygiene of the Glee Club students, hallucinogenic anesthesia and a Brittney Spears play list on Pandora.com sends a fair number of cast members on vision quests in the key of Millennial Pop Tart.
Luckily for us all, Santana and Brittney got a chance to sing and dance, which they do with feeling and frankly just make Rachel's songs in this episode look like a kids' jazz class recital. Sorry Rachel Fans, they do.
Lots to say this week, but ultimately, the more screen time you give Santana and Brittney the better, proven in this weeks episode... Spoilers after the break.
Mr Shue did things in this episode, which pretty much guarantees that half the episode is a lost cause but then... out of the blue... STAMOS. As the most attractive dentist ever. He is busy being amazing, and handsome and being a genuinely good partner to Ms. Pillsbury. Confident and strong enough to help her overcome her OCD and to point out thoroughly just everything that isn't perfect about Mr. Shue.
To save all of you my harping on this storyline, I will instead rely on this dramatic depiction of what happens when you attempt to define yourself by the standards of STAMOS from the Animated Classic Clone High U.S.A. : (note: you should really watch the whole season) (other note: it's graphically violent)
Principal Scudworth highlights than when up against such a resplendent light of manliness, you should just give up, as Scudworth learns at the end of Episode 13 when Stamos won Prom King but gave up the title after the clip he also sacrifices himself (already injured by that crown stabbing) to save Scudworth and thwart the Board of Shadowy Figures. Long story short: The characters Stamos play are just good guys.
As happens whenever we profile Mr. Shue, Crazy Ex-Wife Mrs. Shue shows up and looks bad. I will however give props to Ms. Pillsbury, because while this is all too much, and she puts up with a lot of pushy weirdness from Mr. Shue this episode, she seems pretty reasonably confused by her feelings and is being honest with both her current boyfriend, STAMOS, and Mr. Shue about it. She's trying to improve herself and her life and hopefully, that desire will rub off on those around her.
Meanwhile, Rachel's interpretation of Hit Me Baby One More time gives new meaning to "like watching a 7 year old acting sexy." A better choice might have been "not a girl, not yet a woman" because while there is a spark of this arc being true to a teenager's insecurity in social and romantic situations, I.... I just can't care about whether or not she succeeds.
It does bother me that is seems to be utterly acceptable that she treats her boyfriend in this manner, sneaking around getting people to lie to him. I mean, really? It's a consequenceless world as long as she plays into Finn's narrative victimization?
LadyChart of Character Growth:
IS THAT ALL THERE IS? ribbon for participation at best here Glee
But yes, Britney rocks.
more please.Ms. Pillsbury:
Rational, trying to get her head together, reacting calmly to crazy things happening around her. Also dating John Stamos.
Solid. Point to you GleeMrs. Shue:
Shows up to be a crazy ex wife. In her defense, she vented honestly because her ex-husband who pays spousal support is getting a crazy-new-car he can't afford.
Pulls the fire alarm because of inappropriate Homecoming Rally behavior, but in her mind, because a sex riot is breaking out.
Uh.... No Points, no character growth, not sure if it is backsliding or not. Excellent use of the word Frottage though.
Lets Finn and Arty onto the football team despite earlier drama.
No Change in Characterization, only onscreen to perform that action.
Whorish, Sticks up for her friend, hell of a dancer. No Change.Rachel:
"Rachel, while you're dressed like you're trying to impress a Japanese businessman with a very dark, specific fetish, I actually dig this look"
Manipulates Finn blatantly asking Quinn to lie to him and attempt to seduce him, Asks Finn to give up things that mean a lot to him to suit her vanity, Dresses Sluttishly to get attention, Acts insecure.
Really? No Change.
"I've never dressed like a pretty girl because I never believed I was one, but now I feel like it's ok sometimes. "
As a note Rachel, I really do believe you know what it feels like to strangle a baby bird.
Shows up to lie to Finn for Rachel. Good Friend or Just Evil?
regardless, no growth.Tina:
Still dating Mike, has good teeth. No ChangeMercedes:
WHY DO WE ONLY SEE HER WHEN SHE'S SAYING SOMETHING WITH ATTITUDE? At Best, no change.Before I throw my hands up and say good riddance for another week, Glee, THE REACTIONS OF THE TEENAGE BOYS TO RACHEL'S OUTFIT WERE UTTERLY, EMBARRASSINGLY, INAPPROPRIATE.
But even more tellingly, in real life, Artie, Finn and a dozen other characters would have been suspended for the way they responded to Rachel. Maybe not in every school but certainly every one I ever attended. While I tend to focus on portrayals of female characters doing bad things and they're there. This wasn't ok, Glee. For shame.
Did other people find this funny? Horrifying? wtf? am I over-reacting? Where was Puck? Weigh in in the comments.
Next week, if there's a god, more Stamos.