Thursday, March 17, 2011

American Idol Top 12 --- I'm A Little Confused Too

The judges are being bizarrely awkward while trying to raise money for the Red Cross. Or at least Steven was. Not a time for Blue Steel, Tyler.

Seacrest reminds us that Ashthon was a contestant. We lament her getting the wild card while people like Tim didn't even get a chance. Oh well. America, here's your top 12!

I didn't know Pocahontas was competing this year...

Naima - What's Love Got To Do With It by Tina Turner
Her family earns her 10 points. Loving them. Not loving the song right away, but I'll give it a chance. As long as she dances. Dancing! I see dancing! Where's the reggae rap? Not great or even very good, but she's interesting enough for me to want her to stick around.
Steven - You got a sorcerer's grasp for melody.
J-Lo - You bring yours to everything you do. Gave her a pass for the pithiness last week, but now sees she is consistently pitchy and it's hurting her. Makes J-Lo worry about how her performances will hold up, needs her to concentrate and work on that. Flavor is crazy so she needs to bring it together.
Randy - Watching her performance last week thought it wasn't great at all. Vocals are kind of a mess. All over the place.

Paul - I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues by Elton John
Love his family even more. Oh my god. I love him. NO! HOARSE VOICE! Ohmygod I love him so much. He is making J-Lo sing along! Love it! He sounds great and is absolutely adorbz. I can't stop clapping. I love him.
J-Lo - She feels him. Sounded good, he has so much soul and star quality, he overcame not thinking he was doing his best. He made it happen though.
Randy - Was pitchy sometimes but he really makes it his own and reminds him of Ray LaMontage. Tells him to get the notes right.
Steven - He goes off a little bit. He defines a cool dude in a loose mood. Way cool swagger. He's turning into that guy who you turn on the record and you know who you're listening to.

Paul is the BEST

Thia - Colors of the Wind from Pocahontas
Thia was maybe the cutest toddler. So far at least. Since she was 6 in effing 2001, she could record a studio level track then. Hilarious. OF COURSE she is singing this song. Knew she was dressed as Pocahontas. She can't quite hit the higher notes. Still digging her tone. But...that's it.
Randy - The vocals were okay, but the problem he is having she's been singing ballads every week, felt very boring, like she is at a pageant. Randy tells her to dig a little deeper and I think she should sing that song from The Princess and the Frog
Steven - He thinks she sings beautifully, but asks if she thinks that's who she is. She says she knows ballads aren't her.
J-Lo - Loves her tone and quality, but they need to see her break out and can't tell if the vibratto is nerves or natural. Needs to get out of the box.

More after the jump

James - I'll Be There For You by Bon Jovi
MATT BELLAMY. IN THE AUDIENCE. UM. THE MUSIC PERSON. WTF. JAMES DOESNT KNOW WHO MUSE IS? DOES NO ONE? OFFENDED. Singing babies are the best. James - "I aint touching nobody." Bwhaha that was awesome. Not loving this yet. Sounds off, but he's in it and rocking and such. Ooh! Okay, like a lot of parts, though he was definitely off at points.
Steven - He's got leftover sandwiches older than him - how does he do that? Asks him not to get too poppy for him, but that was great. If he sings Aerosmith in the finale, Steven will sing with him.
J-Lo - Sang along, loves it, he was great
Randy - Couple pitch spots, but made it his own, similarly to Paul. Very tastefully done.

They talk about shoes and dog collars. I don't know what's going on.

Steven - "That man there has a rich vein of inner crazy. I'll join him"

Haley - I'm Your Baby Tonight by Whitney Houston
Aw, funny looking baby. Her parents are in a band! Hah! That rules. I'm groaning that she is singing Whitney, but I hope she does a great job. I LOVE her voice. Fingers crossed. Someone needs to help this girl pick songs ASAP. Her voice is still awesome and perfect but otherwise, she has like no sense. It's bizarre. The way she is dressed, the arrangement...oh no, there is lipstick on her chin. There is so much about this that screams hot mess except for the fact that she still sounds amazing with her voicebox. Oh no, lipstick emergency! AHH THIS IS THE MOST AWKWARD THING EVER. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT.
J-Lo - Makes a point of saying she looks great. She can't see. But she says do what comes naturally
THANK YOU SEACREST. HE is a real pro. Officially love him.
Randy - Confused by song choice. Not sure she is sure who she is, she needs to find out what that is to find the right songs. Vocals were okay but wasn't a great performance. Confused.
Steven - Sweet and tough and heard Janis Joplin and always waits to hear it again. More blues. Dig in to that.

I AGREE WITH STEVEN. Please keep her around so we can hear her sing the right song. PLEASE.

Stefano - If You Don't Know Me By Now covered by Simply Red
Another musical family! Sweet dad. Awe. Makes some legit hilarious jokes about the quality of music in 1989. I like him a lot. Amazing control. Don't even wanna talk during his performance at all because I don't wanna miss a note. He hits everything! This is a cover. Loophole discovered! Okay so if J-Lo likes what you are doing, she will sing along. Thanks for the tell. This guy is fantastic. Knows what he's doing.
Randy - Best performance of the night so far. Took a song that had the highest degree of difficulty and slayed it.
Steven - Beautiful phrasing, wonderful, beautiful
J-Lo - 10 10 10. Perfect song for him, he could take it, stay right there, and sing to her a little bit more, connect to her. Aw he had to hug his mom, that's adorable.

Pia - Where Do Broken Hearts Go by Whitney Houston
Pia is YOUNGER than me? That's weird. She looks older...she needs to tone down the makeup. Home videos rule. Sad grandpa story makes me sad. The first thing I observe is that she looks like Julia Louis Dreyfuss. She still has pretty solid control, I don't like up tempo on her as much. Would also like to hear her sing some more interesting songs. Though her voice is always awesome. No other girls can sing like her.
Steven - She is why it's called American Idol. Nailed it.
J-Lo - Excited that it was up tempo. Perfect for her. Has an angel watching over her.
Randy - Every week she produces amazing vocals, Pia is in it to win it, what does that say to everyone else in the competition. Pia is trying to win this.

We've decided Pia and Haley need to look at Linda Rondstat, Bonnie Raitt, Heart, not this 90s crap

Scottie - Can I Trust You With My Heart by Travis Tritt
IS SO COUNTRY. HE WAS OBSESSED WITH ELVIS. He is so perfectly country, we can't help but giggle. If you listened to this without looking at the screen, you would think he was in his 30s or 40s. This is hilarious. He could be on the radio. The country country radio. A duet with Carrie Underwood is inevitable. A bit hammy. But country is fairly hammy.
J-Lo - She wants him to keep going in the direction of pushing himself like he did at the end. More of that. Keep growing.
Randy - Did Travis proud. Great song. He can sing anything, he knows who he is. Keep taking chances with notes.
Steven - Keep knowing who you are and you will go places. Thanks him.

We realize that Scottie looks like Alfred E. Neuman. Woah.

Karen - Love Will Lead You Back by Taylor Dane
She's going home unless she brings it. We observe that she is dressed like a fembot. Someone observes that Karen was a Benjamin Button baby. Looool. OHMYGOD she is really dressed like a fembot. I can't unsee it. I can't even listen. This would only make sense if she was singing Burt Bacharach. This is forgettable and boring and dumb and you're DRESSED AS A FEMBOT. She is the first one so far that I wasn't looking forward to. Like, they said Karen and I was like, muh. And yes, it was in fact, muh.
Randy - Started rough, found the pitch halfway through. Better than last week, but not jumping up and down.
Steven - Loves it when she breaks into her "ethnic what it is-ness"
J-Lo - Could tell she was scared, but instead of letting it take over, she attacked it. Never expose your weaknesses, play to your strengths, if she can't hit it, don't try.

J-Lo gives legit great advice. It's Carly Smithson! Why are you igonoring her?

Casey - Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
His family didn't have him until their 40s but he thinks that's awesome cause they're wiser than other parents. "They know what's up" - Casey. Casey has the best parents. Casey likes taking risks musically. I love him. Love the bass. He sounds a little evil, bwhaha, but I love him. He definitely chose a direction and went with it. Hilarious.
Steven - He is so good and crazy and talented and that's the perfect match. To be crazy and talented at the same time. He's got it.
J-Lo - Big shoes to fill, was a risk and parts where it got screamy screechy, still has to sound pleasant, just wanted a little bit more of that and loves him so much
Randy - References Muse without acknowledging that MATT BELLAMY IS IN THE AUDIENCE. Wasn't the best vocal, but it was fearless.

Someone please tell Randy that Matt Bellamy is in the audience. Please.

Lauren - I'm The Only One by Melissa Etheridge
Awkward intro. She's hilarious. She calls Jimmy "Sir." Awe. I do really like her voice. I want her to stick around. And sing better songs. This is at least a step in the right direction.
J-Lo - That is an example of staying true to the melody of the song but also making it hers. Very very good job. She's back.
Randy - Very nice. Have a cold every week. Liked it.
Steven - Agree with Randy. Loved her the first time he heard her, she did it again, she's a shining star.

Jacob - Alone by Heart
Jacob reacting to his mom singing is priceless. AHH! Alone. The big number. Oh man, he has got to kill it. PLEASE kill it. It's weird how he looks so young when he speaks, but way older when he sings. Many off notes. He's certainly putting his all into it. I really feel like he is connecting to this song to an INSANE degree. But. Not much control.
Randy - Very nice performance. Stepped out of his comfort zone. Stepped out of tune for a couple bars, but the whole package was so great. In it to win it.
Steven - His mom may not be able to sing but he gave him the moxy to, I don't know Steven
J-Lo - Gives his all to every performance, amazing to watch, everyone feels it. We have a competition.

My Top Two: Stefano, Paul, Pia's vocals
My Bottom Three: Karen, Thia, Naima
Going Home: Karen. Make it stop already.

That was a weird night.