Thursday, March 24, 2011

American Idol Top 11 - Okay, Something To Work With! But Stop Overproducing The Songs Please.

It's Motown night! All right, Seacrest, let's do this thing.

What the hell does "Steven Tyler, you're my mom's hall pass" mean? Is that a reference to the film Hall Pass? Was that a Fox film? Does that mean a freebie? Like a sexin freebie? I feel old.

Is this the same Motown clip package they show every year?

If this evening doesn't rule, I'm gonna be pissed. If someone manages to pick a bad song, I will begin to seriously question the functionality of his or her brain space.

NUMBER of hits, Randy. Not "amount." Number.

Casey - Heard It Through The Grapevine by Marvin Gaye
Casey, please return to the you of Awesome yore, if it's not too much trouble. Not loving the arrangement,  but am digging his voice, control, energy and little changes to the song.
Steven - Perfect entertainer
J-Lo - So specific in who he is, such an incredible thing, wondering if there is anyone like him out there right now and doesn't think there is
Randy - Definitely a true original. Takes chances, tells everyone who comes up there to just do them, and Casey can only do him and that him is great. Woah there, Randy, now.

Did Ryan just make some kind of secret bigamy joke?

The guitarist of Aerosmith gets a shout out, but the lead singer of Muse didn't. Still not over it.

More after the jump

Thia - Heat Wave by Martha and the Vandellas
Jimmy was shocked that Thia was could sing. Yikes. Backhanded compliment, much? This is actually probably the best she's sounded yet. Plus she looks adorbz. There's still no way she's the American Idol, but this is a huge step up from last week's epic suckage. Was she forgetting her lyrics? Couldn't tell. She's gonna have a great career on the Disney channel.
J-Lo - Scratching the surface a little bit there, great to see her let loose, didn't know she had it in her. Needs her to dig deeper each week.
Randy - This new thing is a good thing. It's about taking chances, she took a chance, she can still dig deeper, but happy to see her move up a notch tonight with something different
Steven - Agrees, loves that she's taken a step out. Great, he's good with it.

Kristen Dunst is an Idol fan! Who knew.

Jacob - You're All I Need To Get By by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Turrell
If Jacob doesn't kill it, there's gonna be a problem. Jimmy needs Jacob to try out using control as well. For those wondering, control is the thing Pia and Stefano and to a certain extent Haley have that no one else does. Nice job. This is definitely his genre.  Hands down his best performance since the live shows began. Amazing range, this kid has. Back to the Jacob we know. A little control goes a long way. Steven hug!
Randy - The great Barry Gordy is somewhere "Oh my god". His best performance yet. True professional. Nothing wrong with the performance.
Steven - All over the place before, but with this one he held it back, beautiful
J-Lo - You made us beg for those notes, amazing

Ryan makes a bunch of girls hug Jacob. Oh Ryan.

Lauren - You Keep Me Hanging On by The Supremes
Yes! We can finally hear Lauren's amazing voice. Finally finally. I wish the whole song was like the beginning when we could just hear her voice and had no distractions. The lights and musical arrangement are a little loungey, but she sounds great.
Steven - Ripped that song another beauty mark. Beautiful.
J-Lo - Looks amazing tonight, most beautiful she's seen her. Loved that she threw her neck into it, which the song required, brought it to life, really good job
Randy - She's got her swagger on high, she's ready

She has such a baby face, she will be IDed well past when she's of age. I'd guffaw if that girl tried to order a drink from me. Whereas Thia, even younger than Lauren, for sure looks like she's in her early twenties.

Where's the photo of Stefano, Fox?!

Stefano - Hello by Lionel Ritchie
I loved what David Cook did with this song - Stefano has a lot to live up to. Jimmy tells him to hold it back with the runs and notes that Stefano has chosen a REALLY difficult song. Is this song too high for Stefano? Ooh, maybe not. Need to stop typing now and watch. Mmm, I do love his voice. His control is off the hook. Yup. I just said off the hook. I much prefer David Cook's arrangement, but can't deny Stefano sounded great. Aw. He's so cute. But something was a little forced there. Didn't really buy what he was saying, especially the last " I love you."
J-Lo - He's fine (meaning attractive) and sings great. Needs him to connect more. Doesn't want intensity to come from doing well, wants it to come from his heart breaking. Once he connects like that, he will fly out of this building.
Randy - Only thing he is missing is the connection. Bit off a big chunk today, needed to perfect vocally and emotionally. Sounded beautiful, but there was no real connection. One of the better singers they have there, but no real emotion. Once he feels it from his heart he'll be surprised what happens his phrasing. Look at every lyric, think about who he is singing to, if he doesn't feel anything, throw it away.
Steven - Voice is so beautiful, just pull back a little.

Randy makes a gay joke about Ryan and Stefano and they react pretty adorbzally.

Gordon Ramsey is super mean to Stefano's mom. I guess that's his schtick, but really? Poor form.

Haley - You Really Got A Hold On Me by Smokey Robinson
PLEASE KILL IT, HALEY! I want it to be slowed down and I want to just hear her sing. I don't want any of this fast paced blahhh. She's so sleazy, bwhahaha, why does this happen? But she still sounds amazing, like she does every week, which is why she is still in this competition. Did she mess up the lyrics? That was confusing. She is so hilariously awkward. This song should not have been sped up. Her voice is amazing, AUGH, Haley, PLEASE, do something to back up your amazing vocals one day. Super wish she had just sat on a stool and sang. PLEASE. I'm so confused.
Randy - Started a little bit rough, but by the middle of the song, the Haley they fell in love with, blusey attitude, came roaring back. This is the type of singer they thought she was.
Steven - Feels Randy and feels Haley. Beautiful. Sang her heart out. "Doesn't look a day over fabulous." Loves her Joplin growl.
J-Lo - She has effortless control, can probably do anything with her voice more than anyone else can. May have most soulful voice of all the girls.

Scotty aka Alfred E Neuman - For Once In My Life by Stevie Wonder
Scotty is randomly really good at basketball. "The last thing I want to do is come off like a lounge singer." If you don't want to make it loungey, maybe make the arrangement not suck, Jimmy. Scotty's voice cracks me up. He's also kind of taking a risk right now, using his upper register, which it turns out he has! So, woah, okay! Although I don't know what he's doing with his dancing.
Steven - Took a big chance, loved it, really ripped it, when he goes down to those low notes, he tweaks everyone
J-Lo - Great version of the song. Made it his own. Wasn't his strongest vocal performance, but that low note gets her all over again.
Randy - Was smiling the whole time, he took chances, should have gone higher sooner, low note was a young lady killer note

I don't like cocky Scotty, stop telling him he's a ladykiller everyone, please.

Pia - All In Love Is Fair by Stevie Wonder
Stevie Wonder?! From the 70s?! Not Motown! Fail! Stop having no taste, Pia, auururghh. I say this doesn't count and am upset with her choice, however well she sings it. THIS IS SO NOT MOTOWN. Who allowed this? She has only once sung a decent song and she always dressed like she is 40. Please just sing a good song. Okay but yes she sounded amazing, so, you know, that's great, whatever.
J-Lo - Killed them with one of her killer ballads. Amazing vocals, beauty, feeling, all check, she could have a career like Celine Dion, she has a strong instrument, but Celine walks all over the stage, owns it, needs her to incorporate other dynamic into her performance to take her over the top. (Though the idea of a two hour Pia concert makes some people in the room groan.)
Randy - Hits notes dead on, likes that she incorporated more falsetto. Needs up or mid tempo. Wants her to sing something more uptempo (didn't she last week?)
Steven - Closest star in this American Idol universe. She is all that, will be all that, she's got, if she needs to step out and put on some sneakers and kick some ass, she will. Beautiful.

Ryan shows off Pia's...ass? Seacrest is on fire tonight. Pia needs to sing Bonnie Tyler, Heart, Pat Benatar or hell, even Journey. Or Fleetwood Mac!

Paul - Tracks of My Tears by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
AHHHH PLEASE DONT SCREW IT UP. Adam Lambert sang this and killed it and ahhhh I'm nervous. PLEASE BE AWESOME, MY LOVE. Guitar guitar guitar. Why do they have to have back ground shit, argh, I just want it to be just Paul. I like it when Paul sings with his guitar awwwwww I wanna hug his cute faaaace. He's kind of making up lyrics, but I don't mind he's so cute and I love his voice and we're getting married. Killed it with the last line.
Randy - Liked him not dancing around, liked to see him play guitar, definitely got a distinctive voice, so unique, little worried when it started, but took it took a cool Paul Rod Stewarty sort of place, everyone was jamming, having a good time, notes were there. When he goes tender, like the end, oh my god, dude. So cool.
Steven - Very different, like Dylan, like Willie Nelson, beautiful in that sense, loved what he did
J- Lo - He had a tear in his voice at the end. The most seasoned performer they have, the complete package, just needs a good producer and there we go.

He is so cute, I can't handle it. He's gonna date so many famous peopleees. He's so damn sexy. Ryan points out that Randy hasn't said "pitchy" yet. Guys. Naima is next. So. May have spoken too soon.

Naima - Dancing in the Street by Martha and the Vandellas
Our first thought is "uh oh", followed by "ample opportunity to be pitchy!" She's adding African dance?! What?! Okay, well keeping it entertaining, that's what I need. Actually, I'm not hating this. She is mostly hitting her notes and sounding not awful. That was kind of awesome.
Steven - E to the Z e tweedalidee. The whole package, right there, ate the stage.
J- Lo - She is an exciting performer, loves watching her, first little goosebumps of the night, good, she's the mover, the shaker, the dancer up there, of which there aren't a lot in the competition
Randy - Been a little rough on her, but finally tonight, all of Naima showed up, the girl that loves the African dance, the reggae girl, the singing was there, the performance was there, arrangement was brilliant for her, very smart

Ryan says James is coming direct from German? Huh? I'm confused. Oh! Durbin. Not German. Like his last name. Durbin. Like Durbin is next. I'm exhausted. Naima might be my favorite backstage person. Well and Paul, cause I love looking at him.

James Durbin - Living For The City by Stevie Wonder
I really don't think Stevie Wonder is considered Motown. Especially this album he and Pia sang from. NOT MOTOWN. Adam Lambert-lite is being Adam Lambert-lite-like. Dancing! Hah, that's kinda cute. But every time he performs, I miss Adam Lambert. Remember when Adam Lambert was always awesome every week? Let's think about Season 8 of American Idol for a moment, shall we? Such a good season. Wait, what's happening? Oh, James is till singing. Sure, fine, he did fine.
J-Lo - (Does a valley girl impression for some reason). Tells him to soak it up. (The crowd loves him. Wtf?) He is serious business up there. Left her speechless.
Randy - Was a little rough at the start. When he hit his pocket and stride, he was unbelievable. Loved the note he ended on.
Steven - Takes a little bit of being crazy to make a difference in the world and that's what he's about. He's great. Voice was incredible. Song was perfect for his voice. Right in his range. Nailed it.

My Top Three: Casey, Jacob, Lauren, Paul, Naima (okay, so 5)
My Bottom Three: Hrm...Thia? Even though I liked her this week. Pia for song choice. Uh oh. This is tough this week. Didn't hate anyone. James cause I'm not a big fan in general?
Going Home: Your guess is as good as mine. Would have been Naima, but she brought it and got me and probably a lot of other people too. My best guess is Thia. Worried it'll be Stefano cause he didn't connect or Haley cause she's crazy. I'm guessing the bottom three will be Thia, Stefano and Haley. I'll be super pissed if anyone but Thia goes home. Uncomfortable that Fox Flash accidentally posted two photos of Naima and none of Stefano. Hope that doesn't mean he's going home. I have a bad feeling about this.

Can I just say, I'm REALLY sick of these overproduced songs. All of the songs I own from past Idol seasons are the ones that were stripped down and didn't sound like shit, and most of the time when the Idols have had "moments" they've been when it was just them and a piano or guitar or a capella or ANYTHING but what's happening right now. Someone please put a stop to this. K thx.