Friday, December 4, 2009

Oscar Predictions. 12/4 [Fanboy Edition]

oookey dokey, so now that i’ve seen allllmooost everything, i figured i’d take another stab at what’s gonna be nominated for best picture. i do this not because i care, but because it’s a really quick way of pulling together a deceptively substantial post. kinda. i mean, it’s definitely quick, but the substantial part is a pretty tenuous argument. at this point i’m just typing to make it seem that much more substantial. because i care. annnnddd the universe implodes upon itself. okay, *said like mario* HEEREE WEE GOOO!*

okay, let’s start with guaranteed nominations:

1. The Hurt Locker (DAVID MORSE ALERT! but otherwise… pretty good)

2. Invictus (surprisingly involving)

3. Precious (this movie made me want to Mo’Nique myself in the face. and no, i don’t know what that means, but it probably involves a television hurled at my head).

4. Inglourious Basterds: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (uh-mazing)

5. Up in the Air (does it’s thing, but methinks Reitman can’t make a capital GREAT great film)

the rest, i’d bet your life on. but not my life. my life is too good to be determined by the cussing Oscars.

6. Up (10 nominees means Up makes the cut… i theenk?)

7. An Education (meh)

8. A Single Man (haven’t seen it, but… perhaps?)

9. Nine. but only because this is a total impulse nomination. DDL slays dragons in this thing but it’s not much of an experience.

10. Avatar. haven’t seen it (duh), but… it’s the best guess around.

other possibilities include The Last Station, Bright Star, and A Serious Man. If the Lovely Bones is nominated for best picture, i’m going all Shoshanna on the Kodak theater. but it won’t. it can’t, right? cause there’s awful, and then there’s AWFUL. oh, and then there’s The Lovely Cussing Bones. cuss. cuss. balls. cuss, i hated that movie.