The Real Girl's Guide to SDCC

So, there was a bit of a kerfuffle, we'll say, when a Girl's Guide to Comic Con went online and featured- almost exclusively- a list of all the glorious hot man candy rumored to be appearing.

Now, as a girl who is active on the interwebnets and has attended that particular convention in San Diego two years running- coming up on a third- I was... nonplussed, to say the least. What an insipid waste of html. A photo-essay, more or less, that tells all you little ladies out there of the strapping men who'll be about to maybe put an autograph in your keepsake book while your man runs about doing all that silly guy stuff. Essentially what the 'article' reads as is a bunch of rumor pushing, a series of "How awesome is this Hollywood celeb I want to lick his face MAYBE YOU CAN AT COMIC CON" with a picture attached. Useless. So let's juts clarify something for the people to whom that article appealed, shall we?

Stalkers and starfuckers be aware: You're going to be in a sea of six thousand people, with trenches of press, execs and security between you and the Hollywood 'A Listers'. So if that's your reason for going, as that article seems to assume it is- don't.

If, however, you're not going to SDCC solely because you love RPattz that freaking much (though it is entirely acceptable if you happen to), perhaps the following may provide some insight as to why you, the real, geek girl should not just attend but own the San Diego Comic Con, and give you an idea of how/where best to spend your time there.



1. Tiki Bar at the Marriott Marina. First off, ask for a Tijuana River. Hand over ten dollars. Prepare to be drunk for the rest of the day. Best investment you can make at Comic Con. Second, be prepared to calmly observe and possibly interact with various genial, relaxed, also-drinking guests of the Con such as the talented, accomplished, and polite Ron Perlman or that dude Kevin from Attack of the Show, who is awesome to tiki with. But I'm serious about that Tijuana River, it'll mess you up but quick. My first experience with it culminated in me falling asleep on the table at dinner, but right before that, when passing comic book legend Stan Lee in the lobby, moved me to greet the most honored creator of Marvel comics with: "Lookin' good, Hef."

To which he graciously replied, "Thank you!"

2. Your Favorite TV Show Will Have A Panel, and the Stars Will Be As Excited to See You as You Are Them. This is, so far in my experience, universally true. Some actors will become flummoxed and uncomfortable in front of the startling support. Writers and producers tend to be less so. All around, though, and particularly with shows who know/understand/are staffed and acted by geeks, you will have an opportunity to ask questions and give commentary of and to the source, with immediate gratification response. This is rare. When shows like Chuck, Supernatural, and True Blood- all of which have geekcentric themes and all of which have powerful female followings and all of which have panels this year- hear from their core fan group, they listen. When women are a vocal and active part of that group, the tropes and relegating of female roles that we most hate become that much less likely to occur. They listen because they care, the same way we watch because we care. Take time to think out your question/s. Write it/them down. Have backups. Feel free to fangirl, but use the time you have at the mic. SDCC is not powered by studios, it is powered by fans, and that means fangirls, too. Speak up and represent!

3. Custom, Girl-Friendly Pin Up Art by Your Favorite Artist. Because where the hell else can this happen? Speaking entirely on my own behalf, I am not a fan of most available posters/wall art/statues of my favorite female comic characters because I am not a lesbian who happens to posses the brain of a fifteen year old boy. Most comic art, particularly splash pages and pin ups and especially of female characters, would be strange, possibly embarrassing, and certainly not moral-boosting to have up on my apartment wall. Rogue is my favorite character for all sorts of reasons that don't involve her breasts, but most artwork featuring her also features them prominently. With the list of artists who'll be lounging about Artist's Alley this year, I fully plan on commissioning a work that's suited to my tastes- that showcases the feisty, edgy, playful personality of hers (along with her awesome powers as a flying vampire brick), possibly in her old leggings and orange tunic costume, I don't know yet, maybe in the classic 90's Jim Lee yellow-and-green, that doesn't look like she's wearing liquid latex. Most artists ask very reasonable prices for these commissions, and you get to take home a piece of work that makes you feel good about being a fan, not bad about being a girl. Don't wait til Sunday though! They're usually dedicated to finishing the comms they got the previous two days and can't accept any new ones.

4. Hall H Is A Real Place, Yes- And Dreams Can Come True There. My favorite Hall H moment to date was probably being a scant few rows from Len Wein- awesome guy and creator of Swamp Thing, Nightcrawler and, oh yeah, WOLVERINE- when Hugh Jackman gave security a heart attack by jumping off the stage and rushing over to shake the comic creator's hand.



Hall H is a mix of the sneak peeks you've been dying for and the thrilling surprises the studios want to reward you, the fan, with. The wait to get in can be intense- you have to ask yourself if the things you're likely to see there outweigh everything else that's going on that day, because once you give that seat up, you're probably not getting back in. If something you love is going up in the same block as Twilight, you're effectively screwed, unless you don't mind camping out overnight in a huddle of tweens and their moms.

Seriously.

If, however, you do have a love of Hollywood and are jonesing bad for that first shot of Iron Man 2 or Sherlock Holmes or freaking Prince of Persia hells yeah, or the numerous other offerings that will no doubt be in supply this year, then Hall H is where you want to be and it is worth it. You have all Sunday to wander the dealer's room and haggle for closing day prices. Sit down with your convention book, compare, contrast, and plan out your days! Some of my most exciting Con moments so far occurred in Hall H- but I also walked out of numerous panels in there. Choose your big screen fare wisely and line up early. And again, I say thee: Fangirls! Prepare your questions ahead of time that they might be insightful and probing as well as respectful! Seize this opportunity to ask of some of the most influential and powerful directors, producers, and actors in Hollywood questions that matter to you as a fan. Guys are not the only ones spending money on these movies, and our only interests are not in the romantic leads and subplots! Let them know it!

And I mean, yeah, maybe you can lick RDJ. Who knows. But don't BANK on it, is what I'm saying.

5. Swag. At last year's True Blood panel, I received a magical ticket that got me an awesome True Blood nylon bag, a great t-shirt, a comic book, and the first of the Sookie Stackhouse novels. These tickets are handed out frequently and they unlock the door to the booty room. Mostly t-shirts, but when shows get creative, you get bitching swag. Also, go STRAIGHT to the big comic booths and tv areas in the dealer's room for PINS. Then decorate yourself accordingly. Bedazzle yourself, even. And get creative with those t-shirts, because they're all extra-huge sized. I turned my Iron Man Glow In The Dark Chest tee into a mini dress!

6. Bonding With Your Fellow Woman. Make friends. Swap twitter names. Follow each other then and there on your blackberries. When you're sitting in a sea of upturned faces letting the joy of Joss Whedon wash over you, look around at your fellow geek and take note. These are the people on your flist! Isn't it NEAT??? In all seriousness, SDCC is a great place to make connections with people who like what you like and are probably going to be into the idea of, say, going in on a creative endeavor of some kind with you, if you happen to be an artist looking for a writer or a writer looking for an artist or a writer looking for a writing partner or whatever. Start a geek band. Optional: This may also be done at the tiki bar.

This is just a starter, a prelim. We'll put more of these up as the big week approaches- I know Muse is working on one especially for THE NIGHTLIFE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GASLAMP DISTRICT WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. But we just couldn't stand there being only one Girl's Guide to Comic Con out there, and it being that. Consider us your Rosie the Robot Riveter. Time to stand up, ladies.